Blood, Sweat, & Kickboxing

Touche, Turbokick, touche.

Don't you dare call me a failure

So today I am officially starting my diet. Although I don't want to call it diet. I want to call it my skinny quest. One of my taglines on this blog is "I have been fat my entire life". It's true people. I can't remember a time when I looked or even felt remotely thin. My self esteem has, thank goodness, never suffered because of this (and honestly, you might want to watch out if - no WHEN - I get skinny because my self esteem will be uncontrollable, I am afraid.)

But looking back over the years of fat rolls, what I am sure would amount to a dump trucks load worth of cakes, brownies, and other assorted sweets, clothing that has never ever ever freaking EVER fit properly, (don't ask me how my self esteem stayed in tact through all of this) I have determined that I am a failure when it comes to discipline and following through on my goals. (See also the complete unabridged works of my college career.) And failure? A word I would like only to use when referring to any member of the Spears family.

Yet failure? My past goals are riddled with it. See the below example from my blog of January 28, 2009...


Ok, so here are my goals:
1. One year from today, January 28, 2010, I will be 75 pounds lighter.
2. By May 28, 2009, I will have lost 25 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
3. By September 28, 2009, I will have lost 50 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
4. By January 28, 2010, I will have lost 75 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.

Yeah. That's failure with a capital "I'd have to lose 10 pounds before I even started on last years #1 goal to lose 75 pounds!" It's sad, isn't it? But please don't pity me. No, instead, drill sargeant me when you see me pick up chip drenched in cheese dip. Slap the cocktail glass out of my hand when I tell you "I had a rough day so I deserve this drink". (Rough day? Please! Have you seen my posts about my job? Yeah. If i say this sentence to you, please know that I am straight up lying through my teeth.) And go ahead, be my guest, call me a fat ass when I cut myself a bigger piece of YOUR birthday cake than you got. But don't you dare call me a failure.

This time, folks? Watch me lose as much weight as I can. I dare you.

And give me a high five when I see you at the gym tonight with the rest of the "failures".

I'm on a skinny quest.

Strawberry Fields Forever

I have mentioned before that I would like to overcome the adage, "eating is for pleasure". I wanted to put myself, my mind, my body through an eating bootcamp with my war cry or cadence being:

MUST NOT EAT FOR PLEASURE!
OR ELSE MY PANTS GROW TIGHTER!
MY WAIST GETS MUCH BIGGER!
MUST NOT EAT FOR PLEASURE!
HOOA!

But I'm beginning to understand something: eating IS pleasurable. Why in the world would God have created such things as the sweetness of strawberries, the juicy, thirst quench of a watermelon, the raw simplicity of a carrot, the perfect purple of a plum, the fulfillment of a potato, the spiciness of a jalepeno? I am 100% positive that God created those things, with their specific attributes, for OUR pleasure.

It's the way we manipulate those perfect creations - preserve them, fry them, freeze dry them - that creates this "oh that's bad for me; I can't have that" mentality. I'll be the first to admit that I have fallen into that way of thinking.

Because I am dieting, I must not enjoy food. SO NOT TRUE PEOPLE!!

I brought a baggie of fresh strawberries and blackberries to work this morning for breakfast. I picked up a strawberry. I smelled it - it smelled of earth, of unadulerated sweetness. I bit into it - juicy, fruity, perfect explosion in my mouth. As for the blackberries, I still have seeds stuck in my teeth. What a wonderful, albeit annoying, thing!

So my new quest, instead of only eating for sustanance, is to eat the perfect food I know God created and intended for me to eat.

(Disclaimer: I am sure the occasional french fry might slip into my mouth. Just being honest.)

Crayons and Beef Squeezins

-WEIGHT WATCHERS SMART ONES PICANTE CHICKEN & PASTA-

The bolded, numbered words correspond to the number comments below...

Ingredients: Cooked Enriched Macaroni Product (Water, Enriched Semolina [Semolina, Niacin, Ferrous Sulfate, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid]-1), Cooked White Meat Chicken (White Meat Chicken, Water, Tapioca Starch, Sugar, Salt, Sodium Phosphate, Glazed with Water, Caramel Coloring, Modified Potato Starch), Diced Tomatoes (Tomatoes, Tomato Juice, Salt, Calcium Chloride, Citric Acid), Yellow Bell Peppers, Sauteed Onions (Onions, Soybean Oil), Water, Black Beans, Contains 2% or Less of: Jalepenos (Jalepeno Peppers, Salt, Citric Acid), Sauteed Garlic (Garlic, Soybean Oil), Canola Oil, Ancho Chili Base (Chili Peppers, Dried Onions and Garlic, Yeast Extract, Salt, Spice, Beef Extract-2, Citric Acid), Modified Cornstarch, Cilantro Flavor, Red Pepper, Sour Cream Flavor (Maltodextrin [Corn], Nonfat Dry Milk, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Sugar, Lactose, Whey [Milk], Corn Syrup Solids, Sodium Caseinate [Milk], Flavoring, Mono- and Diglycerides, Sodium Citrate, Salt, Dipotassium Phosphate, Modified Cornstarch, Carrageenan-3), Salt, Spices, Corn Oil, Chicken Base (Chicken, Salt, Hydrolyzed Soy Protein, Chicken Fat, Corn Maltodextrin, Sugar, Chicken Broth, Onion Powder, Tumeric, Spice Extractives), Xanthan Gum, Stabilizer (Maltodextrin [Corn], Monoglyceride, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum-4, Guar Gum-4, Methycellulose Gum-4, Citric Acid), Lime Flavor, Chicken Flavor (Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Salt, Maltodextrin [Corn], Gum Arabic, Chicken Fat, Torula Yeast, Natural Flavor, Tumeric), Chili Type-5 Flavor (Maltodextrin [Corn], Sesame Oil, Flavor, Peanut Oil, Smoke Flavor (BHT-6, BHA-6, Propyl Gallate, Citric Acid), Annotto (Color-7).

Mmmm. Yummy. A few thoughts:

1. I love how the ingredients have SUB-ingredients. That's a 'two-fer', right? Like BOGO sales, maybe? I don't know.

2. I feel sorry for the cow that had to be juiced - not milked, JUICED - to get me my beef extract.

3. Ok, really? Sour cream doesn't have that much flavor to begin with. Are all of these ingredients and sub-ingredients really neccessary? I bet if they squeezed hard enough, they could go ahead and squeeze some extra sour cream out of that cow in #2.

4. If I wanted chewing gum with my lunch, I'd get some Watermelon Double Bubble out of the candy jar.

5. Wait, so it's not REAL chili flavor?

6. Why are they being ambiguous? What are these secret BHT and BHA ingredients and what animal needs to be squeezed so we can get them?

7. First of all, what color is Annotto? Even in the Crayola Jumbo Box (you know, with the built in sharpener in the back??? Man, I used to love that thing...) there wasn't a color called 'Annotto'. Second of all, thank you, but my food is already colorful enough. If I wanted to taste the rainbown, again, I would visit the candy jar.

Now don't get me wrong, that lunch was quite tasty. But as I was standing at the microwave waiting for my flash-frozen Annotto colored meal to be zap-cooked in less than 5 minutes, I started reading the ingredients on the box. Taking notice of this has made me want to eat a lot more naturally.

Less beef squeezins, more organic veggies that are colors I am familiar with.

John 6:27

"But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you."

Dang.

Good, better, best

I think I doing pretty good today. Good as in, I didn't stop at a fast food place on my way to work. Good as in I woke up with a desire I haven't had in the last few weeks, a desire to actually WIN today...Win over my bad thoughts, bad choices, etc. Good as in I'm about to eat a cup of low-fat, no sugar added yogurt with granola crunchies. Good as in I don't really want any coffee. Good as in I'm focused on drinking water and water only today. Good as in I really, for the first time in awhile, can't wait to get off work so I can go walk in the park or do some type of exercise. Good as in I want to make the choices to change my life. Today.

Calling all Dr. Phil's

I wake up this morning with the thoughts: 'Where am I? What happened last night? Oh my gosh. I'm stressed about something, what is it again? What day is it today?' Not sure why I wake up like that because there was only one 12 ounce beer consumed the night before. Pretty normal evening, actually. Mark came over, we had dessert (WW chocolate chip cookie a la mode = delish), watched TV; just spent a very relaxing hour or two together. Quite enjoyable. We both feel like we have been busy, busy, busy bees lately. And I've got (family) stress up to my eyeballs. That can really wear a girl out!! I'm going to visit my brother and sister-in-law tomorrow in Athens, though, so hopefully some stress will get relieved.

I decide that today is going to be different. I will look my best, be my best, try my hardest, do work son.

At 1:10, that mindset has been working pretty well. (Except I should be drinking water instead of a diet coke right now...but really, that's the only wrong choice made today.)

So I've had a banana and a WW Chicken Enchilada Monterrey (310 cals, 10 fat g's) so far today. That's good, right??? I think so. Better than the last few days have been, trust me.

Seriously though, I need some stress relief tips. I've been thinking that running just as fast as my short, stubby legs can take me might be a good thing. (It'd be like a twofer...stress relief and weight loss.) I'm tired of turning to food to relieve my stress. I told you that I've come to terms with the fact that I am an emotional eater. I hate that about myself, but it's true. I have GOT to change that. I need another outlet for stress besides donuts and dorritos.

So come on, all you Dr. Phil's out there...give me some advice!!!

I get by with a little help from my friends

For all of you out there in PeyPeyland who read this blog, not only for the witty and entertaining banter, but for the diet news as well...

Here are some great tips from the Skinny Bitch herself, Kaci Lesley...

i almost always freeze my ww yogurt for an hour or so before i eat it. its fabulous. it takes longer to eat bc its kinda frozen...so good. try it!

alternative western bagels (in the bakery section) are good & only 100 calories. blueberry is my favorite.

another GREAT dessert/snack is a sugar-free 60 calorie vanilla pudding snack & 1/2 cup of pumpkin. it sounds weird but its like eating pumpkin pie! (without the crust) just buy canned pumpkin and let it chill in the fridge. then stir in a vanilla pudding, a little splenda and some cinnamon....MMM...so good. and only 100 calories and LOTS of fiber. (you'll be farting!)

jolly time mini bags of popcorn are fabulous. i LOVE the kettle-corn. only 100 calories.

ok - on days when i know i'm going to eat a big meal or dessert (like date night, night out w friends... whatever) i'll eat a light lunch. but still - i refuse to skip a meal. but you can eat a salad from subway with TONS of veggies for like 50 calories or something crazy. you can add turkey or a roasted chicken breast for very few calories also. they have good italian dressing too for next to nothing.also - panera & abc have good salads. panera - the classic salad is good, i always add chicken...again low calories. same for abc...the house salad w chicken and ff raspberry ving. is amazing and low calorie. perfect choices for a big meal day!

i eat sweet potatoes all the time. i love them. with squirt butter. i'm addicted to squirt butter.

i eat rice cakes too. i know that sounds gross. but i PILE salsa on them or a little peanut butter or squirt butter ha ha. they dont really fill me up - i just eat them when i'm eating to be eating.

when i need a chocolate fix...sometimes i eat chocolate haha but other times i drink diet hot chocolate - its 25 calories. it helps when i need a fix. or a fudge bar. they are always good.

i eat a ton of fruit & veggies. keep an apple in your purse :) they are full of fiber which totally makes you feel full. i love oranges too. blueberries are good frozen! you can eat a cup of them for next to nothing calorie wise and they are SO good for you!

(If only we could all be so disciplined, right? Oh, but wait, what's that? We can? All I have to do is say no to bad and yes to good? Oh, yeah, that's right, I forgot. It's that easy.)

THANKS KACI!!!! YOU'RE AN THINSPRIRATION TO US ALL!!!

Quest for a Skinnier, Healthier Body

I am quickly realizing that two things are needed in my Quest for a Skinnier, Healthier Body: organization and discipline. Of these two practices, I am severely lacking. So, waking up at 7:45 a.m. this morning and having to be at work by 8:30 a.m. did not afford me any time to eat a proper breakfast or fix a nutritious lunch. So, I was forced to make grits (no butter though!) at the office for breakfast and will have to face the madding lunch crowd at 12 p.m. today. Better Choices is my motto for the day.

So, at 10:34, for my first diary entry of February, 23, 2009, I have had the following:

-2 cups of coffee with probably about a tablespoon each of french vanilla creamer (not the sugar free or fat free kind. Better Choices.)
-Bowl of grits with salt and pepper

So, by my calculations, that's about 270 calories. Well, I'll just round it off to 300. I'm thinking it needs to be heavier in the morning, lighter in the evening. Better choices, better choices, better choices. I think I need to record myself saying that over and over and then listen to it while I'm sleeping. The osmosis technique might work, who knows?

By 11:20, I've drank 17.5 ounces of water. (Is that on target? I don't know. Trying to aim for about 70 o-z's a day.)

11:27 thoughts: I've really been craving bananas lately. Hmmm, may be some kind of Freudian sub-conscious slip...

After lunch thoughts: My breath smells like onions.

To add to the earlier 300 calories calculation:

-2 soft steak tacos (I know, not the best choice, but seriously, what could be considered a GOOD food choice at a mexican restaurant? At least they weren't stuffed with cheese and sour cream.) -A handful of chips and salsa-Water

I don't know how many calories that makes, but I know it's a lot. I'd say probably around 900-1000. So I'm up to about 1300. Hmmm...not much room left for anything else.

I can't remember if I've posted this before. A great website for nutrition information: www.nutritiondata.com. On the top right toolbar, there is a place where you can type in ANY food and it will give you the nutrition information. The nutritional target map is a helpful tool too. Check it out.

3:23 p.m. thoughts: Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate.

3:44 p.m. thoughts: I think Crystal Light gives me heartburn. Oh wait. Maybe that esophageal burning sensation is from the steak tacos and greasy tortilla chips. 52.5 o-z's of agua down the hatch.

I eat a Weight Watchers yogurt at 5:30 p.m. Boston Creme Pie flavor. Seriously, how do they make that taste so good with only 100 calories to spend?

For dinner, I make some fantastic food. I think my creativity gets me in trouble in the food department because I love to cook and I love to be creative. So tonight, I saute some habanero chili chicken sausage with onions, garlic, and red and green bell peppers. Get them good and sauteed (didn't add any oil...just let them cook in their natural juiciness) and then add a little red wine. Reduce that a little bit; add some itailan seasoning. All the while, lovely penne pasta is boiling away with some fresh garlic cloves for taste. Towards the end, I add some fresh spinach leaves and toss it all together with no more than a quarter cup of mozzerella cheese. It's delish!!!! I also enjoy 2 glasses of merlot with it.

I'm pretty proud of myself, actually. No chocolate was consumed. (That's a big stepping stone!) Sure, there could have been better choices made. Tomorrow.

(Right now, I am currently enjoying some pretzels. Why? I don't know. I'm not even hungry. Ughhhhh...)

Darlene

So I have friend; we'll call her "Darlene".

Darlene sent me a message via Facebook the other day talking about how she'd read my blog and was inspired and appreciative that I was blogging about this. She told me about the struggles she'd had and is currently still having with her weight. To steal a line from her, 'I think we're soulmates'. She's right. All of her struggles are MY struggles and vice versa.

To keep it short, we decided, via Facebook messaging (thank God for technology, right?) that we would keep each other strictly accountable, diary all of our daily food intake, and email each other at the end of the day.

I'll be blogging my entries. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

What you put into your body is what you're going to get out of it.

My co-worker just made this statement: What you put into your body is what you're going to get out of it. I have never in my life thought of it like that before. That sentence is so profound to me.

So, it would make sense that if you put bad things in your body then bad things are going to come out of it. (No, I don't mean poop!) Blemishes, weight gain, aches, pains, fatigue, wrinkles...that is what comes out when bad things go in.

And equally, if you put good things in your body then good things will come out. Energy, clear skin, being lean, healthy...that is what comes out when good things go in.

I know it's such a simple concept.

I hope that statement encourages you as much as it did me.

Candyman & La-Z-Boy

"Candyman tempting the thoughts of a
Sweet tooth tortured by weight loss programs
Cutting the corners, there's a
Loose end, loose end, cut cut."
(Dave Matthews Band, "Ants Marching")

I'll let you use deductive reasoning.

I'll give you a hint: the Candyman's been driving around my block for the last week.

He's been lurking in corners, peeking out of the fridge, holding me hostage in the pantry. Oh, and then there's "La-Z-Boy" who's been visiting quite frequently. La-Z-Boy, I swear, points a gun at my head everyday when I get home from work. He makes me sit on the couch and watch t.v. until bedtime. No joke. He won't let me get up.

Who are these guys and how do I get rid of them???

So, I definitely haven't lost any weight. I still have about 14 weeks until my first goal date: May 28. That's closer to 2 pounds per week (1.78 to be exact). Do you guys think I do it? I have a lot of doubt. I need some hype and encouragement.

TMI

I'm quickly realizing that I can't eat the same way I did when I was a teenager. Two words: gas and indigestion. Sorry if that TMI, but it's true. That's just a side note. I just needed to vent a bit about this gigantic bubble I've got building in my small intestine. Quite rumbly.

So the reason I've neglected to write is this: my decisions have been very poor since Saturday and I'm ashamed. From the greasy buscuit on Saturday morning, to the Night O' Margaritas with the roommates on Monday, to today's Country's chicken fingers...yep. It's been bad. Oh, I'm so ashamed! I really didn't want to tell you guys all that; but I knew I had to.

I think this proves my long time suspicion that I'm an emotional eater. I never wanted to label myself as that, but I'm facing the truth now. Saturday, my mom made me so angry = Greasy Burger King Sausage Biscuit (ugh. It sounds so gross now.) Monday, I was soooo stressed at work; I decided that that stress deserved a little liquid relaxation = Viva El Toro Margarita (then trip to the liquor store across the street to get more to make at home. Yeah.) Today, I am mad at myself that I've made so many bad decisions lately regarding food that I guess my thought was, 'What the hell?' = Country's FRIED Chicken Fingers.

So new beginnings, right?

Right.

I'm joining a gym today. Going back to the Y. Was a member awhile back and liked it a lot. It's the only place that I think I'll actually go. It's right down the street from work, so I can't let myself go home first and get comfortable and lazy. And it's only $29 a month. I think that's well worth it.

I need to set some realistic goals, I think.

Ok, so here are my goals:
1. One year from today, January 28, 2010, I will be 75 pounds lighter.
2. By May 28, 2009, I will have lost 25 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
3. By September 28, 2009, I will have lost 50 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
4. By January 28, 2010, I will have lost 75 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.

I think those are pretty realistic, don't you?

I need to get mean so I get lean...those are going to be my fighting words against Rotel dip, against margaritas, against chicken fingers, against pizza, chips, sweet tea, ice cream, cheese, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, quesadillas, burritos, beer, movie theater popcorn, candy, against laziness too.

Woo hoo! I'm fired up!

TKO That Bitch (Ha!)

It feels like Monday but it's Tuesday. I kind of hate and love that at the same time.

So, the weekend was just okay. Mark and I went to Outback for Sunday lunch where he ordered a steak and potato and PeyPey ordered a sweet potato (no butter) and steamed veggies. Hello! Look who's being disciplined! Mark and I are having a hard time getting in synch with this whole diet thing. It's hard to hold each other accountable without hurting each others feelings. It's like the things you hate most about yourself (for me it's my weight and all this extra padding) are being realized and called out by the person you're trying to look and be the best for! But we made an honest commitment to each other to just get over the hurt feelings and be brutal when it comes to the diet issue. So we're working on it.

There were, of course, a few times over the weekend where I COMPLETELY dropped the ball. (Like our Friday night dinner at Provino's in Auburn. i.e. Lots and lots of pasta, wine, and bread.) There was also a margarita involved somewhere in there; I can't quite remember when. (That's a lie. I remember EXACTLY when and where the margarita went down, and EXACTLY how many chips I consumed at that fine Columbus establishment. I just don't feel like being that honest with my readers.)

So there definitely could have been better choices made a few times. One day at a time, right?
Today. Just today, I can make better choices. No need to worry about what my choices will be tomorrow or a month from now. Just today. That's do-able, right?

I had the usual breakfast. Raisin Bran, skim, coffee. Lunch was filling. Made some chicken salad yesterday out of some grilled chicken breasts I had left over. It was made with Miracle Whip (Equals a better choice. I'm trying to distinguish between bad and good choices.)

American Idol is coming up again tonight at Jeannie & Tyler's. That means I'm going into the ring again with Mr. Rotel. I TKO'd that bitch last time and I plan to do it again tonight. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Hey you! Yeah, you! Mr. Rotel! Yeah! I'm talking to you! Drop your weapons!

Battle Rotel: Lieutenant Sultenfuss, this is Colonel PeyPey. Stop. I am proud to report our victory in RotelLand. Stop. The new defense plan proved successful and the men are ready and willing to move on to the next battle station. Stop. Please send orders. Stop.

So I am proud to report that I did not so much as dip a pinky finger in the Rotel dip on Tuesday night. It was staring me down, eyes as big as saucers, from that bowl on the table. But PeyPey stayed strong! I can't begin to express how proud of myself I was. It was like overcoming this huge battle. I proved to myself that saying 'No' is possible. I was also so thankful to have my disciplined friend, Kaci, there to talk me through each wave of desire. That's what it takes, people! It takes help, motivation, and strength. Those three things were my ammunition for Battle Rotel.

The Rotel dip should receive a purple heart. He put up a good fight; he came out swinging, but to no avail! Peypey's defenses were just too strong.

So a pretty successful first week, I'd say. I do need some encouragement, though, to exercise more diligently. Bring it.

The LUNCH BREAK Chronicles: Death by Pecan Pie

(I changed the name. Lunch Break Chronicles sounds better.)

Well, you read the title.

Ooey-gooey, buttery, crunchy, flaky DEATH.

It all started after the uber-modern piano and percussion concert last night...

(Live music begins to play in the backgroud. Enter three friends chatting about where to get a nightcap after the show, walking down Broadway.)

How about a Martini or glass of wine at Houlihan's?
Oooo, sounds good.

(Off they go, down the street, past the fountain, across the tracks, through the revolving door, and into the swanky marble-lined entrance.)

Three please.
Is a booth okay?
Sure.

(Down plops the heavy metal menus.)

Can we have a drink menu?
Sure. And here's the dessert menu also.

(Brakes screeeech. All bets are off. She eyes the Martini glass full of cake donut holes with tiny Martini glasses on the side, filled with Godiva white chocolate and Kahlua dark chocolate dipping sauces.)

Oh my goodness, she thought to herself, this night is going to end badly.

I'll have the Chocolate Cappachino Cake with a coffee.
I'll have the same thing.
I'll have the Pecan Pie with a coffee please.

(Suddenly, she retracts. Did I really just order that, she thinks to herself. I could have JUST gotten the coffee. I'm not even that hungry! WHY WHY WHY can't you just say no?!?!)

Oh, thank you. This looks delicious.

(Devouring every bite, she knows she should stop. But she continues. This is certainly no glass of red wine with its 130 calories and 4 measly carbs. No, this is pecan pie in all its glory. Glorious 500 calories, 20 grams of fat, 79 carbs, 33 grams of sugar. Should I go on?)

(Checks paid, goodbyes said, she heads home, happy and full.)

(Cut to morning shower time.)

Lord, please forgive me for my total lack of self-discipline and my glutony. Today will be different. I will strive to please you and I will strive to be healthier.
*************************************************************************************
January 13, 2009

A man's errors are his portals of discovery.

Pecan Pie Error Discovery:
Even though I messed up yesterday, there's always today and tomorrow to fix my mistake.
Self-discipline is no joke.
I CAN say no.
Surround myself with those who I know will help me in this fight.
Not only do I want to be skinny; I want to FEEL better. Not necessarily feel better about myself, just FEEL better.

So today's been pretty good.

Bowl of Fiber One Raisin Bran and skim, coffee with fat free creamer for breakfast.
Fat free cottage cheese for snack at 10:30 am
Smart Ones Lasagna for lunch at 12:30 pm
2 glasses of water so far.
I plan to have a snack of fat free yogurt and granola around 3:00 pm
Going to have a small chicken breast, brown rice and black beans for dinner around 6:30
Walking at the park for awhile also.

I am going to an American Idol (Yay! so excited!) party tonight. There will be Rotel cheese dip, chips, and chocolate chip cookies. Yikes. Give me a call if you read this today and make sure I'm not giving in. Do it.

The LUNCHTIME PeyPey Chronicles

As stated in a previous post, I have an unhealthy relationship with food.

Oh come to me, cheese, ice cream, hot wings, pizza rolls, beer, some of the great loves of my life!

I'm not sure when this relationship began. I remember my mom never letting us drink cokes. My dad and Papa usually grew a garden every year, so we almost always had fresh produce. I was a very active kid. Brad and I played in the creek, were 'backyardigans', swam, played ball, etc.

Still, despite these things, I was always the chunkster in class.

Now, don't get me wrong. I had a great childhood. I can honestly say that I did not feel the first pangs of being self-conscious until I started dating Mark. My friends were always A LOT skinnier than I was but it never bothered me. I honestly cannot remember saying to myself as a 9, 12, 15, 18, even 21 year-old, 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.' It's true!

But now, 25 years old, the heaviest I've ever been, I'm saying it: 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.'

I think even my feet are overweight. No joke. My face is as round as one of those huge grapefruits that you know has had hormone injections. My jeans scream 'Thunder-thighs! Thunder-thighs!' at me every time I try to yank them on. My boobs? Dolly style, but really just all fat. My belly button can't breathe. And these 10 digits I have hanging off of my hand that feed me all that tasty goodness are the size of a gift basket summer sausage. Dang enablers. That's what I'll do; I'll just cut my fingers off.

So, it's pretty gruesome. Time for change.

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

Well, I'm facing the gruesome details today, January 12, 2009.

I plan to journal as much as I can about my food escapades during my lunch hour. But here's your (to all 3 of you who I think read this) part: keep me accountable. I'll try to entertain you at the same time.

So here's my first entry:

For breakfast today, I had a delicious bowl of Fiber-One Raisin Bran (probably the reason for the last minute bathroom visit before I left for work). And for a snack at 10:30, I devoured a bowl of blueberries and blackberries. So so far, that totals up to the following:

329 Calories
2 g Fat
71.5 Carbs (Yikes!)
42 g Sugar (Double yikes!)
12.5 g Protein
15 g Fiber
130% Calcium
37% Vitamin C
100% Iron

Ok, so that was a little time consuming. Not sure I'll do all that with everything. I'll focus mainly on Calories and I guess Carb intake. By the way, a lot of those sugar grams were from natural sugar in the berries.

It's 12:30, time for my SmartOnes Spaghetti and yogurt with granola.

I'll keep you updated. Just keep me accountable.

Oh! And I'm going to the gym tonight.

Foodie

So I am posting this because I think it's cool. I'm trying to redo the way I think about food...i.e. eating for sustanance and not for pleasure. But I have had a few pleasurable experiences with food. The ones I've had on this list are in bold...

"A food blogger created a list called "The Omnivore's 100". It's a list of 100 foods that he or she believes, "every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all." It's turned into a bit of a game where people repost the list on their blogs, highlighting the things they have tried. So here's my list:

-MY OMNIVORE'S 100-

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding (does this just mean chocolate? Because I've definitely eaten my weight in chocolate pudding over the years.)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush (I love saying this.)
11. Calamari
12. Pho (Mmmm. You should try it at Pho Vy on River Road. Delish! Btw, it's pronounced 'PHUH'.)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart (Nathan's outside of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC!)
16. Epoisses (Isn't this a greek god?)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (I'm including Peach Tingle in this.)
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (SCARY!!!)
27. Dulce de leche (That's dooshe de looshe to my buddy, Will)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (I pretty much lived on IBC growing up.)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (No, but that would be awesome!)
37. Clotted Cream Tea (Clotted Cream sounds even more gross than the word "moist".)
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel (AND it was RAW!! I should get double points for that!)
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (Have also probably eaten my weight in these.)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores (I'm so glad this made the list!)
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (I'm pretty sure this is chalk.)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (If Andrew Zimmern can't eat it, then neither can I.)
66. Frogs’ legs (Killed and cooked them babies.)
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette
71. Gazpacho (This was my fave when I worked at the Butler's Pantry)
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (I don't know if it was of the "Louche" persuasion, but it was definitely illegal to have in the U.S. - which makes me feel oh-so-cool.)
74. Gjetost or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang Souchong
80. Bellini (Had one of these at the first Valentine's Day Mark and I celebrated together.)
81. Tom Yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky (Haha! Yes! Thanks to Meagan's gift from San Fran!)
84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash (Thanks, Brad, for allowing me to cross this one off of my list!)
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish (I'd like to know who, in this great part of our nation, has NOT tried catfish???)
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox (One of my favorite things ever, although I rarely buy it.)
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (Of the rattle variety. Thanks Ben!)

46 out of 100 ain't bad for this gal from little ole Columbus, GA. See if you can beat me.