As stated in a previous post, I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Oh come to me, cheese, ice cream, hot wings, pizza rolls, beer, some of the great loves of my life!
I'm not sure when this relationship began. I remember my mom never letting us drink cokes. My dad and Papa usually grew a garden every year, so we almost always had fresh produce. I was a very active kid. Brad and I played in the creek, were 'backyardigans', swam, played ball, etc.
Still, despite these things, I was always the chunkster in class.
Now, don't get me wrong. I had a great childhood. I can honestly say that I did not feel the first pangs of being self-conscious until I started dating Mark. My friends were always A LOT skinnier than I was but it never bothered me. I honestly cannot remember saying to myself as a 9, 12, 15, 18, even 21 year-old, 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.' It's true!
But now, 25 years old, the heaviest I've ever been, I'm saying it: 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.'
I think even my feet are overweight. No joke. My face is as round as one of those huge grapefruits that you know has had hormone injections. My jeans scream 'Thunder-thighs! Thunder-thighs!' at me every time I try to yank them on. My boobs? Dolly style, but really just all fat. My belly button can't breathe. And these 10 digits I have hanging off of my hand that feed me all that tasty goodness are the size of a gift basket summer sausage. Dang enablers. That's what I'll do; I'll just cut my fingers off.
So, it's pretty gruesome. Time for change.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
Well, I'm facing the gruesome details today, January 12, 2009.
I plan to journal as much as I can about my food escapades during my lunch hour. But here's your (to all 3 of you who I think read this) part: keep me accountable. I'll try to entertain you at the same time.
So here's my first entry:
For breakfast today, I had a delicious bowl of Fiber-One Raisin Bran (probably the reason for the last minute bathroom visit before I left for work). And for a snack at 10:30, I devoured a bowl of blueberries and blackberries. So so far, that totals up to the following:
2 g Fat
71.5 Carbs (Yikes!)
42 g Sugar (Double yikes!)
12.5 g Protein
15 g Fiber
37% Vitamin C
Ok, so that was a little time consuming. Not sure I'll do all that with everything. I'll focus mainly on Calories and I guess Carb intake. By the way, a lot of those sugar grams were from natural sugar in the berries.
It's 12:30, time for my SmartOnes Spaghetti and yogurt with granola.
I'll keep you updated. Just keep me accountable.
Oh! And I'm going to the gym tonight.