I'm quickly realizing that I can't eat the same way I did when I was a teenager. Two words: gas and indigestion. Sorry if that TMI, but it's true. That's just a side note. I just needed to vent a bit about this gigantic bubble I've got building in my small intestine. Quite rumbly.
So the reason I've neglected to write is this: my decisions have been very poor since Saturday and I'm ashamed. From the greasy buscuit on Saturday morning, to the Night O' Margaritas with the roommates on Monday, to today's Country's chicken fingers...yep. It's been bad. Oh, I'm so ashamed! I really didn't want to tell you guys all that; but I knew I had to.
I think this proves my long time suspicion that I'm an emotional eater. I never wanted to label myself as that, but I'm facing the truth now. Saturday, my mom made me so angry = Greasy Burger King Sausage Biscuit (ugh. It sounds so gross now.) Monday, I was soooo stressed at work; I decided that that stress deserved a little liquid relaxation = Viva El Toro Margarita (then trip to the liquor store across the street to get more to make at home. Yeah.) Today, I am mad at myself that I've made so many bad decisions lately regarding food that I guess my thought was, 'What the hell?' = Country's FRIED Chicken Fingers.
So new beginnings, right?
Right.
I'm joining a gym today. Going back to the Y. Was a member awhile back and liked it a lot. It's the only place that I think I'll actually go. It's right down the street from work, so I can't let myself go home first and get comfortable and lazy. And it's only $29 a month. I think that's well worth it.
I need to set some realistic goals, I think.
Ok, so here are my goals:
1. One year from today, January 28, 2010, I will be 75 pounds lighter.
2. By May 28, 2009, I will have lost 25 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
3. By September 28, 2009, I will have lost 50 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
4. By January 28, 2010, I will have lost 75 pounds. That's 1 1/2 pounds per week.
I think those are pretty realistic, don't you?
I need to get mean so I get lean...those are going to be my fighting words against Rotel dip, against margaritas, against chicken fingers, against pizza, chips, sweet tea, ice cream, cheese, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, quesadillas, burritos, beer, movie theater popcorn, candy, against laziness too.
Woo hoo! I'm fired up!
January 28, 2009
January 20, 2009
TKO That Bitch (Ha!)
It feels like Monday but it's Tuesday. I kind of hate and love that at the same time.
So, the weekend was just okay. Mark and I went to Outback for Sunday lunch where he ordered a steak and potato and PeyPey ordered a sweet potato (no butter) and steamed veggies. Hello! Look who's being disciplined! Mark and I are having a hard time getting in synch with this whole diet thing. It's hard to hold each other accountable without hurting each others feelings. It's like the things you hate most about yourself (for me it's my weight and all this extra padding) are being realized and called out by the person you're trying to look and be the best for! But we made an honest commitment to each other to just get over the hurt feelings and be brutal when it comes to the diet issue. So we're working on it.
There were, of course, a few times over the weekend where I COMPLETELY dropped the ball. (Like our Friday night dinner at Provino's in Auburn. i.e. Lots and lots of pasta, wine, and bread.) There was also a margarita involved somewhere in there; I can't quite remember when. (That's a lie. I remember EXACTLY when and where the margarita went down, and EXACTLY how many chips I consumed at that fine Columbus establishment. I just don't feel like being that honest with my readers.)
So there definitely could have been better choices made a few times. One day at a time, right?
Today. Just today, I can make better choices. No need to worry about what my choices will be tomorrow or a month from now. Just today. That's do-able, right?
I had the usual breakfast. Raisin Bran, skim, coffee. Lunch was filling. Made some chicken salad yesterday out of some grilled chicken breasts I had left over. It was made with Miracle Whip (Equals a better choice. I'm trying to distinguish between bad and good choices.)
American Idol is coming up again tonight at Jeannie & Tyler's. That means I'm going into the ring again with Mr. Rotel. I TKO'd that bitch last time and I plan to do it again tonight. I'll let you know how it turns out.
So, the weekend was just okay. Mark and I went to Outback for Sunday lunch where he ordered a steak and potato and PeyPey ordered a sweet potato (no butter) and steamed veggies. Hello! Look who's being disciplined! Mark and I are having a hard time getting in synch with this whole diet thing. It's hard to hold each other accountable without hurting each others feelings. It's like the things you hate most about yourself (for me it's my weight and all this extra padding) are being realized and called out by the person you're trying to look and be the best for! But we made an honest commitment to each other to just get over the hurt feelings and be brutal when it comes to the diet issue. So we're working on it.
There were, of course, a few times over the weekend where I COMPLETELY dropped the ball. (Like our Friday night dinner at Provino's in Auburn. i.e. Lots and lots of pasta, wine, and bread.) There was also a margarita involved somewhere in there; I can't quite remember when. (That's a lie. I remember EXACTLY when and where the margarita went down, and EXACTLY how many chips I consumed at that fine Columbus establishment. I just don't feel like being that honest with my readers.)
So there definitely could have been better choices made a few times. One day at a time, right?
Today. Just today, I can make better choices. No need to worry about what my choices will be tomorrow or a month from now. Just today. That's do-able, right?
I had the usual breakfast. Raisin Bran, skim, coffee. Lunch was filling. Made some chicken salad yesterday out of some grilled chicken breasts I had left over. It was made with Miracle Whip (Equals a better choice. I'm trying to distinguish between bad and good choices.)
American Idol is coming up again tonight at Jeannie & Tyler's. That means I'm going into the ring again with Mr. Rotel. I TKO'd that bitch last time and I plan to do it again tonight. I'll let you know how it turns out.
January 16, 2009
PeyPey's Babysitter's Club
This is a very random post.
A lawyer and good buddy of mine called me today asking me to babysit pretty much all day tomorrow (on a Saturday). I told him 'Archie, I'm really sorry for saying no, but now that I've sold my soul to Mr. Jeff Brown 5 days a week, it's hard to let go of those 2 precious CCS-free days.' I told him to have no fear, though, because I have an army of ready and willing babysitters.
Here's the ad I gave him:
Catherine Merrit: This lovely brunette is a nursing student at CSU. She has 9 brothers and sisters and enjoys hiking and being outdoors.
Joanna Osterman: This blonde bombshell has 5 brothers! That gal's one tough cookie!
Carey Bray: Sweet, shy Carey moonlights in the Wynnton Preschool from time to time. She is an avid Methodist and has done study abroad in France! Parlez vous Francais!
Kayla Findley: No introductions need to be made here! Kayla enjoys the hectic life of a CCS file clerk and runner. She is practicing her servant leadership skills at CSU and plans to spend her summer in Mexico! Ole!
Meghan Doll: A doll she is! The daughter of a well known automobile mogul in Columbus, she spends her time diligently making strides for the Republican party. She has several siblings, of which she is the oldest.
Molly Baker: Sister of the lovely and amazing Peyton Baker, this 14 year old is mature beyond her years! She frequently babysits for the well known Amos', is a member of Wynnton UMC, and eventually wants to either dance her way to stardom or become president of the United States! She's a go getter, that one!
Theresa Garcia: The oldest of 8 children and daughter of well-known dentist, she has proved her amazing leadership skills. She is a photograph journalism student at CSU and was Annie in the Springer's Father of the Bride.
(I hope you read that like the announcer on the Kennon and Parker Home Show. That was the effect I was going for.)
Anyway, I don't know why I felt compelled to post this. Probably because in the midst of a very hectic day at work, at 11 in the morning, my creative juices are flowing and I'm pretty proud of that. I am so thankful that God decided to instill in me creativity. It's so much fun. So much better than just saying a girls name and giving him her phone number. Maybe it brightened his day a little too. I hope so.
So what if I really did start a babysitters club? I know all of you read at least one of those books. Might be fun. Ha. We could have a treehouse too. Haha. Oh. Ok, back to work.
A lawyer and good buddy of mine called me today asking me to babysit pretty much all day tomorrow (on a Saturday). I told him 'Archie, I'm really sorry for saying no, but now that I've sold my soul to Mr. Jeff Brown 5 days a week, it's hard to let go of those 2 precious CCS-free days.' I told him to have no fear, though, because I have an army of ready and willing babysitters.
Here's the ad I gave him:
Catherine Merrit: This lovely brunette is a nursing student at CSU. She has 9 brothers and sisters and enjoys hiking and being outdoors.
Joanna Osterman: This blonde bombshell has 5 brothers! That gal's one tough cookie!
Carey Bray: Sweet, shy Carey moonlights in the Wynnton Preschool from time to time. She is an avid Methodist and has done study abroad in France! Parlez vous Francais!
Kayla Findley: No introductions need to be made here! Kayla enjoys the hectic life of a CCS file clerk and runner. She is practicing her servant leadership skills at CSU and plans to spend her summer in Mexico! Ole!
Meghan Doll: A doll she is! The daughter of a well known automobile mogul in Columbus, she spends her time diligently making strides for the Republican party. She has several siblings, of which she is the oldest.
Molly Baker: Sister of the lovely and amazing Peyton Baker, this 14 year old is mature beyond her years! She frequently babysits for the well known Amos', is a member of Wynnton UMC, and eventually wants to either dance her way to stardom or become president of the United States! She's a go getter, that one!
Theresa Garcia: The oldest of 8 children and daughter of well-known dentist, she has proved her amazing leadership skills. She is a photograph journalism student at CSU and was Annie in the Springer's Father of the Bride.
(I hope you read that like the announcer on the Kennon and Parker Home Show. That was the effect I was going for.)
Anyway, I don't know why I felt compelled to post this. Probably because in the midst of a very hectic day at work, at 11 in the morning, my creative juices are flowing and I'm pretty proud of that. I am so thankful that God decided to instill in me creativity. It's so much fun. So much better than just saying a girls name and giving him her phone number. Maybe it brightened his day a little too. I hope so.
So what if I really did start a babysitters club? I know all of you read at least one of those books. Might be fun. Ha. We could have a treehouse too. Haha. Oh. Ok, back to work.
January 15, 2009
Hey you! Yeah, you! Mr. Rotel! Yeah! I'm talking to you! Drop your weapons!
Battle Rotel: Lieutenant Sultenfuss, this is Colonel PeyPey. Stop. I am proud to report our victory in RotelLand. Stop. The new defense plan proved successful and the men are ready and willing to move on to the next battle station. Stop. Please send orders. Stop.
So I am proud to report that I did not so much as dip a pinky finger in the Rotel dip on Tuesday night. It was staring me down, eyes as big as saucers, from that bowl on the table. But PeyPey stayed strong! I can't begin to express how proud of myself I was. It was like overcoming this huge battle. I proved to myself that saying 'No' is possible. I was also so thankful to have my disciplined friend, Kaci, there to talk me through each wave of desire. That's what it takes, people! It takes help, motivation, and strength. Those three things were my ammunition for Battle Rotel.
The Rotel dip should receive a purple heart. He put up a good fight; he came out swinging, but to no avail! Peypey's defenses were just too strong.
So a pretty successful first week, I'd say. I do need some encouragement, though, to exercise more diligently. Bring it.
So I am proud to report that I did not so much as dip a pinky finger in the Rotel dip on Tuesday night. It was staring me down, eyes as big as saucers, from that bowl on the table. But PeyPey stayed strong! I can't begin to express how proud of myself I was. It was like overcoming this huge battle. I proved to myself that saying 'No' is possible. I was also so thankful to have my disciplined friend, Kaci, there to talk me through each wave of desire. That's what it takes, people! It takes help, motivation, and strength. Those three things were my ammunition for Battle Rotel.
The Rotel dip should receive a purple heart. He put up a good fight; he came out swinging, but to no avail! Peypey's defenses were just too strong.
So a pretty successful first week, I'd say. I do need some encouragement, though, to exercise more diligently. Bring it.
January 13, 2009
The LUNCH BREAK Chronicles: Death by Pecan Pie
(I changed the name. Lunch Break Chronicles sounds better.)
Well, you read the title.
Ooey-gooey, buttery, crunchy, flaky DEATH.
It all started after the uber-modern piano and percussion concert last night...
(Live music begins to play in the backgroud. Enter three friends chatting about where to get a nightcap after the show, walking down Broadway.)
How about a Martini or glass of wine at Houlihan's?
Oooo, sounds good.
(Off they go, down the street, past the fountain, across the tracks, through the revolving door, and into the swanky marble-lined entrance.)
Three please.
Is a booth okay?
Sure.
(Down plops the heavy metal menus.)
Can we have a drink menu?
Sure. And here's the dessert menu also.
(Brakes screeeech. All bets are off. She eyes the Martini glass full of cake donut holes with tiny Martini glasses on the side, filled with Godiva white chocolate and Kahlua dark chocolate dipping sauces.)
Oh my goodness, she thought to herself, this night is going to end badly.
I'll have the Chocolate Cappachino Cake with a coffee.
I'll have the same thing.
I'll have the Pecan Pie with a coffee please.
(Suddenly, she retracts. Did I really just order that, she thinks to herself. I could have JUST gotten the coffee. I'm not even that hungry! WHY WHY WHY can't you just say no?!?!)
Oh, thank you. This looks delicious.
(Devouring every bite, she knows she should stop. But she continues. This is certainly no glass of red wine with its 130 calories and 4 measly carbs. No, this is pecan pie in all its glory. Glorious 500 calories, 20 grams of fat, 79 carbs, 33 grams of sugar. Should I go on?)
(Checks paid, goodbyes said, she heads home, happy and full.)
(Cut to morning shower time.)
Lord, please forgive me for my total lack of self-discipline and my glutony. Today will be different. I will strive to please you and I will strive to be healthier.
*************************************************************************************
January 13, 2009
A man's errors are his portals of discovery.
Pecan Pie Error Discovery:
Even though I messed up yesterday, there's always today and tomorrow to fix my mistake.
Self-discipline is no joke.
I CAN say no.
Surround myself with those who I know will help me in this fight.
Not only do I want to be skinny; I want to FEEL better. Not necessarily feel better about myself, just FEEL better.
So today's been pretty good.
Bowl of Fiber One Raisin Bran and skim, coffee with fat free creamer for breakfast.
Fat free cottage cheese for snack at 10:30 am
Smart Ones Lasagna for lunch at 12:30 pm
2 glasses of water so far.
I plan to have a snack of fat free yogurt and granola around 3:00 pm
Going to have a small chicken breast, brown rice and black beans for dinner around 6:30
Walking at the park for awhile also.
I am going to an American Idol (Yay! so excited!) party tonight. There will be Rotel cheese dip, chips, and chocolate chip cookies. Yikes. Give me a call if you read this today and make sure I'm not giving in. Do it.
Well, you read the title.
Ooey-gooey, buttery, crunchy, flaky DEATH.
It all started after the uber-modern piano and percussion concert last night...
(Live music begins to play in the backgroud. Enter three friends chatting about where to get a nightcap after the show, walking down Broadway.)
How about a Martini or glass of wine at Houlihan's?
Oooo, sounds good.
(Off they go, down the street, past the fountain, across the tracks, through the revolving door, and into the swanky marble-lined entrance.)
Three please.
Is a booth okay?
Sure.
(Down plops the heavy metal menus.)
Can we have a drink menu?
Sure. And here's the dessert menu also.
(Brakes screeeech. All bets are off. She eyes the Martini glass full of cake donut holes with tiny Martini glasses on the side, filled with Godiva white chocolate and Kahlua dark chocolate dipping sauces.)
Oh my goodness, she thought to herself, this night is going to end badly.
I'll have the Chocolate Cappachino Cake with a coffee.
I'll have the same thing.
I'll have the Pecan Pie with a coffee please.
(Suddenly, she retracts. Did I really just order that, she thinks to herself. I could have JUST gotten the coffee. I'm not even that hungry! WHY WHY WHY can't you just say no?!?!)
Oh, thank you. This looks delicious.
(Devouring every bite, she knows she should stop. But she continues. This is certainly no glass of red wine with its 130 calories and 4 measly carbs. No, this is pecan pie in all its glory. Glorious 500 calories, 20 grams of fat, 79 carbs, 33 grams of sugar. Should I go on?)
(Checks paid, goodbyes said, she heads home, happy and full.)
(Cut to morning shower time.)
Lord, please forgive me for my total lack of self-discipline and my glutony. Today will be different. I will strive to please you and I will strive to be healthier.
*************************************************************************************
January 13, 2009
A man's errors are his portals of discovery.
Pecan Pie Error Discovery:
Even though I messed up yesterday, there's always today and tomorrow to fix my mistake.
Self-discipline is no joke.
I CAN say no.
Surround myself with those who I know will help me in this fight.
Not only do I want to be skinny; I want to FEEL better. Not necessarily feel better about myself, just FEEL better.
So today's been pretty good.
Bowl of Fiber One Raisin Bran and skim, coffee with fat free creamer for breakfast.
Fat free cottage cheese for snack at 10:30 am
Smart Ones Lasagna for lunch at 12:30 pm
2 glasses of water so far.
I plan to have a snack of fat free yogurt and granola around 3:00 pm
Going to have a small chicken breast, brown rice and black beans for dinner around 6:30
Walking at the park for awhile also.
I am going to an American Idol (Yay! so excited!) party tonight. There will be Rotel cheese dip, chips, and chocolate chip cookies. Yikes. Give me a call if you read this today and make sure I'm not giving in. Do it.
January 12, 2009
The LUNCHTIME PeyPey Chronicles
As stated in a previous post, I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Oh come to me, cheese, ice cream, hot wings, pizza rolls, beer, some of the great loves of my life!
I'm not sure when this relationship began. I remember my mom never letting us drink cokes. My dad and Papa usually grew a garden every year, so we almost always had fresh produce. I was a very active kid. Brad and I played in the creek, were 'backyardigans', swam, played ball, etc.
Still, despite these things, I was always the chunkster in class.
Now, don't get me wrong. I had a great childhood. I can honestly say that I did not feel the first pangs of being self-conscious until I started dating Mark. My friends were always A LOT skinnier than I was but it never bothered me. I honestly cannot remember saying to myself as a 9, 12, 15, 18, even 21 year-old, 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.' It's true!
But now, 25 years old, the heaviest I've ever been, I'm saying it: 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.'
I think even my feet are overweight. No joke. My face is as round as one of those huge grapefruits that you know has had hormone injections. My jeans scream 'Thunder-thighs! Thunder-thighs!' at me every time I try to yank them on. My boobs? Dolly style, but really just all fat. My belly button can't breathe. And these 10 digits I have hanging off of my hand that feed me all that tasty goodness are the size of a gift basket summer sausage. Dang enablers. That's what I'll do; I'll just cut my fingers off.
So, it's pretty gruesome. Time for change.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
Well, I'm facing the gruesome details today, January 12, 2009.
I plan to journal as much as I can about my food escapades during my lunch hour. But here's your (to all 3 of you who I think read this) part: keep me accountable. I'll try to entertain you at the same time.
So here's my first entry:
For breakfast today, I had a delicious bowl of Fiber-One Raisin Bran (probably the reason for the last minute bathroom visit before I left for work). And for a snack at 10:30, I devoured a bowl of blueberries and blackberries. So so far, that totals up to the following:
329 Calories
2 g Fat
71.5 Carbs (Yikes!)
42 g Sugar (Double yikes!)
12.5 g Protein
15 g Fiber
130% Calcium
37% Vitamin C
100% Iron
Ok, so that was a little time consuming. Not sure I'll do all that with everything. I'll focus mainly on Calories and I guess Carb intake. By the way, a lot of those sugar grams were from natural sugar in the berries.
It's 12:30, time for my SmartOnes Spaghetti and yogurt with granola.
I'll keep you updated. Just keep me accountable.
Oh! And I'm going to the gym tonight.
Oh come to me, cheese, ice cream, hot wings, pizza rolls, beer, some of the great loves of my life!
I'm not sure when this relationship began. I remember my mom never letting us drink cokes. My dad and Papa usually grew a garden every year, so we almost always had fresh produce. I was a very active kid. Brad and I played in the creek, were 'backyardigans', swam, played ball, etc.
Still, despite these things, I was always the chunkster in class.
Now, don't get me wrong. I had a great childhood. I can honestly say that I did not feel the first pangs of being self-conscious until I started dating Mark. My friends were always A LOT skinnier than I was but it never bothered me. I honestly cannot remember saying to myself as a 9, 12, 15, 18, even 21 year-old, 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.' It's true!
But now, 25 years old, the heaviest I've ever been, I'm saying it: 'I hate my body and I wish I was skinny.'
I think even my feet are overweight. No joke. My face is as round as one of those huge grapefruits that you know has had hormone injections. My jeans scream 'Thunder-thighs! Thunder-thighs!' at me every time I try to yank them on. My boobs? Dolly style, but really just all fat. My belly button can't breathe. And these 10 digits I have hanging off of my hand that feed me all that tasty goodness are the size of a gift basket summer sausage. Dang enablers. That's what I'll do; I'll just cut my fingers off.
So, it's pretty gruesome. Time for change.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
Well, I'm facing the gruesome details today, January 12, 2009.
I plan to journal as much as I can about my food escapades during my lunch hour. But here's your (to all 3 of you who I think read this) part: keep me accountable. I'll try to entertain you at the same time.
So here's my first entry:
For breakfast today, I had a delicious bowl of Fiber-One Raisin Bran (probably the reason for the last minute bathroom visit before I left for work). And for a snack at 10:30, I devoured a bowl of blueberries and blackberries. So so far, that totals up to the following:
329 Calories
2 g Fat
71.5 Carbs (Yikes!)
42 g Sugar (Double yikes!)
12.5 g Protein
15 g Fiber
130% Calcium
37% Vitamin C
100% Iron
Ok, so that was a little time consuming. Not sure I'll do all that with everything. I'll focus mainly on Calories and I guess Carb intake. By the way, a lot of those sugar grams were from natural sugar in the berries.
It's 12:30, time for my SmartOnes Spaghetti and yogurt with granola.
I'll keep you updated. Just keep me accountable.
Oh! And I'm going to the gym tonight.
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