The City

I'm in the "big city" this week! My work decided I was dumb and needed some more training in order to properly do my job. I'm actually enjoying the class and the city.

I ordered room service last night. Someone makes my bed everyday. I never have to use the same towel twice. King. Sized. Bed. There's a freaking Ethopian restaurant down the street from my hotel. These things don't happen at home.

I'll tell you soon about the cities I've visited but right now, just know that I'm livin' it up in the city!

Blog Suggestions

If you recall, I asked that you all send me some suggestions for writing topics on this here blog. Great responses, people! But I still want MORE! So bring it. Here's what we've got so far (with my notes in italics):

- Your childhood (Hmm, a bit vague, but nevertheless, an endless smorgasbord of embarrassment, chubbiness, and greasy hair.)

-Your siblings...brothers? sisters? sisters-in-law? (This blog is all about me, remember? Who cares about them? No, I'm kidding. What might be fun is this: have them write a guest post about their thoughts on ME or funny stories they remember that involve ME!)

- Your first kiss? Who was he? What was he wearing? Where was it? Anything weird about him? (Ohh, you have no idea...weirdness, yes. Ok, there's definitely a story in there somewhere.)

- Give a top ten list of funniest/craziest moments from camp (if you went) growing up (Again, another endless smorgasbord of hilarity.)

- Responding to quotes. Funny quotes, commercials, slogans, bible verses, whatever. Doesn't have to be serious, funny, or even world-bending. I think we get better as people when we respond to others' thoughts. (This is way deep for me. Perhaps if the quotes were Cookie Monster quotes or maybe from The Office tv show...but Aristotle? Yeah, count me out.)

- Once a month book or CD recommendation? Like an online book club? It would help you read too, which is always a good thing. (I'm so totally doing this.)

- Jobs that you would never see yourself in. Look for postings and tell us why they aren't you. Or recommend people that you know for them. Could be cute. (Love this idea.)

- More photos! (You got it!)

- A monthly interview with someone you know about something interesting in their life?

- Saturday with $7. Take $7 one Saturday a month and see how creatively you can spend it. What people could you meet with that $7? What photos could you take along the way? (Donuts. Do you know how many donut holes you can get for $7?)

- Wine in a box. Yay or nay? (Yay. But I guess I could go in more detail.)

- From a girl that enjoys baking I would like to hear your opinion on cake v. cupcakes. (Done.)

- What are some tips to raise my children to be as happy as you and Brad always seem to be? (This almost makes me cry bittersweet happy tears.)

- Onomatopoeia. I want to hear you wax poetic on sound words. Pun intended (Done. But I'd have to have several glasses of wine before I write this post.)

- Steeplechase hats. Significance, form and function. And how to construct a winning design. (Hmm. This may need to be a guest post by someone who's reason for going to Steeplechase was NOT just to see how many free boos she could get.)

- How it is possible that the last few minutes of any work day seem to last at least as long as the whole day. Each. Minute. (I may turn this into some suggestions of how to spend those last few minutes.)

- Oreos: twist & lick, or dunk & crunch?? (Are they donut flavored oreos? Because I would eat them any way, any where, and any time. Are ya'll tired of hearing about donuts yet?)

Ok, so keep the suggestions coming!

Conversations from last night...

Like texts from last night but better because we were using our larynx's to communicate, not our phalanges. (Man, that was a weird sentence.)


There was a picnic blanket involved. There was fried chicken. There was a massive outdoor movie screen. There were coolers. There was grass (no, not that kind). Oh, and there was, of course, wine.

I attended an outdoor movie last night with a bunch of friends. The setting was perfect: in a field overlooking the beautiful (I use that term quite loosely here) Chattahoochee River (more widely known as simply "The Hooch".) The food was delish. The company was at its wittiest. And the wine was flowing.

I'm in a fun mood this Friday afternoon and thought some of the bits and pieces of our conversations last night might make you chuckle. Either that, or it'll be one big "you had to be there" story. Oh well.

"Who's eating our melons?"

"That old couple over there has been making out all night long. How sweet."
"Ugh. That's not sweet, that's gross."
"That's not gross, that's sweet!"
"No, definitely gross. He's wearing tube socks."

"I had the biggest crush on him in high school. Fantasies were involved."

"Is there an elephant over there?"
"What? An orca? As in whale? With a blowhole?"

"Do you think I can stuff this whole thing in my mouth?" (Cotton candy that is.)

"Ah!"
"What? What?"
"A roach was heading straight for my FACE!"

I'll be honest, I don't remember much after the sugar from the cotton candy wad got into my bloodstream. Or wait, was that the wine I drank? There was lots more crazy funny stuff. I haven't laughed that much in quite awhile.

Anyway, ya'll have a good weekend. Catch ya on the flip side, homies.

Let's experiment together, shall we?

I'd like to try a little experiment, if I can. See, I find that most of my blog posts and stories come solely from either my crazy-ass workplace, my crazy-ass mom, or my crazy-ass, wine-drenched text conversations. (Am I detecting a pattern here?) While chronicling these incidents is fun for both me and you (I hope), it doesn't challenge me or flex my writing muscle one bit. This I need to do.

So I would like you readers to throw some topics at me that you would like to hear me talk about. Or not. You don't have to. But I'd like for you to. I think it'll be fun. I can't promise I won't relate whatever topics you throw at me back to my crazy-ass mom. I can't promise that I won't drunk text you about the topic and then write about our drunk text conversation instead of writing about the topic itself. I make no promises.

So if you have a topic you'd like for me to write about, just send me an email at

peypeybaker[at]gmail[dot]com.

Can't wait to hear from you!

Disclaimer: I maintain full rights to dismiss any and all topics which I may not find appropriate. I know that still leaves the door pretty wide open, seeing as how I'm not a prude or anything, but people, just use your best judgment, mmmkay?

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, HELLA-WEIRD Day

It's been one of those days. You know the type. It just blazes by and you really have no remembrance of what you've accomplished today and you've somehow spent 9 hours in cubicle world that smells like feet and you've got sticky coffee splotches on your mouse and somehow now it's quitting time and you're faced with the decision of whether or not you go to the gym or go home and finish that 1.5 liter bottle of cheap wine and park it in front of the TV. I'll let you decide which one of these options became my reality today (and every other day).

My day was pretty weird. I had someone (our office's resident troll) tap me on my shoulder as I was waiting for the elevator. Weird? No. That's pretty normal. What was weird was that when I turned around to say hello, the troll was rared back with his fist eye level to me and the following words came out of his mouth: "Can I hit you?"

Um, excuse me? EXCUSE ME?! I was speechless. He was doing it to be funny, but to me, it wasn't very funny. It bothered me. It's one of those things, six hours later, that I haven't been able to let roll off of my shoulders. I don't know. Does this weird anyone else out?

So, needless to say, I'm sitting home with a cold glass of Sav Blanc sitting next to me with my Leona Ness Pandora station cranked (guys - don't waste your time clicking on that. Girls - do it. Do it now.) A bubble bath is in my very near future, I do believe.

 In completely unrelated news, I love this man:

His birthday was this past weekend. September 11. Yes, it was a day to remember, to mourn so many terrible losses. But it was also a day to celebrate the birth of this guy. I'm so thankful his dad's little swimmers penetrat...wait, this is going downhill FAST. What I'm trying to say is that I'm so thankful there's a man like this in the world, in my life. He is so giving, so caring and shows his love for me in the sweetest, most kind ways. I try my best to return all that love in emotional, physical, and tangible ways. I scored some pretty great tickets to a big football game his alma mater will be playing next month and I gave them to him for his birthday. I'm pretty sure I saw a tear in his eye when he opened the card and saw the tickets. Mark - I love you. I'm so glad that things like football brings a tear to your eye.   

That's about all for this weird Monday. If you're around, come on over. Let's drink off the Monday blues together. Just know that a viewing of the Bachelor Pad will be involved.

About Me: The Finale

So I gave you five biggies about me awhile back. You can find them here. And here. Oh and here. Over here. And riiiiiiiight here. While this certainly won't be an exhaustive list, I wanted to just sum things up for you. You see, the number one thing on this list would be that I never finish anything I start (unless we're talking about donuts) and well, I wanted to prove myself wrong on this one and actually finish up this whole "About PeyPey" series.

Here we go:

1. I never finish anythi...(see I told you.)
Just kidding.

2. I have been a bridesmaid nine times.
3. Me and my dad's mom share the same middle name: Bayne. She's Nell. I'm Peyton.
4. My brother Brad and I once ate MRE's (meals ready to eat) that my grandad saved from when he was in the Vietnam war. The hot sauce bottles were so darn cute.
5. Both me and Elton John are Boars on the Chinese calendar. We make friends easily. But you already knew that.
6. I have 2 brothers, one sister, eleven cousins, and I once had a great aunt named "Elvira".
7. My stripper name would be "Chi-Chi Meadowbrook". (You know, that game you play where you take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on and voila! Instant stripper name.)
8. I am a Christian. The practicing-I-have-a-daily-relationship-with-Jesus type. But I'm not and never will be the judgmental or legalistic type.
9. I play the piano. I sing. I know one beat on the drums and all the major guitar chords. I'm not sure where this musical talent came from because my mom has none and the extent of my dad's is the ability to play House of the Rising Sun on a guitar laying flat on his lap, strumming each chord only once.    
10. Laundry is my favorite smell ever. Well, except for fresh, hot donuts.
11. Excuse me, CLEAN laundry is my favorite smell ever. Dirty laundry smells pretty rank.
12. My favorite phrase used to be "Catch ya on the flipside!" It's making a comeback into my vocabulary. I'm not sure I like this but feel as if there's no way to stop it.
13. I never, I mean NEVER understood the Dewey Decimal System. If someone could explain this to me, I'd be much obliged.
14. I wasn't allowed to watch Captain Planet as a child because my mom said it was "new-age". Now, my mom yells at me when I throw a Diet Coke can in the trash instead of the recycling bin. She is also now a Democrat. And a Methodist.
15. It's important to mention here that I grew up in a staunchly Republican, Southern Baptist home. I'll have to get my mother to explain this one because I simply cannot.
16. When I first discovered the concept of shaving, I didn't start with my legs like most normal girls did. I started with my fingers and toes.
17. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 21.
18. I used to wear shorts with stockings before it was cool to wear shorts with stockings.
19. I never figured out how to jump rope the double dutch way. It physically, mechanically, and logistically makes no sense to me.
20. My favorite flavor is donuts. (Okay, okay. I like orange flavored things. But I'd choose a donut popsicle if there was such a thing.) My favorite color is pink. My favorite day is Friday. My favorite month is July. My favorite season is Spring. My favorite holiday is July 4th. But that's all subject to change in the next 30 seconds.

Good grief. I'm spent. Ya'll have a good Thursday.

Poison ivy, a brothel, and my father - It all relates, I swear.

Today as I was comtemplating my childhood (and the subsequent effects it has had on my adult life), I remembered a song my dad used to sing to me at bedtime. I think I've actually talked about this before on my blog, but it needs to be mentioned again.

The song that I am referring to is called "Poison Ivy" by The Coasters. Let's disect this a bit, shall we?

First, let's read the lyrics:
She comes on like a rose but everybody knows
She'll get you in Dutch
Now you can look but you better not touch.

Chorus:
Poison ivy, poison ivy
Late at night while you're sleepin',
Poison ivy comes a creepin'
Around.

She's pretty as a daisy, but look out man, she's crazy
She'll really do you in now
if you let her under your skin.

Repeat Chorus

Measles make you bumpy
And mumps'll make you lumpy
And chicken pox'll make you jump and twitch.
A common cold'll fool ya
And whooping cough'll cool ya
But poison ivy lord'll make you itch!

You're gonna need an ocean of calamine lotion
You'll be scratchin' like a hound
The minute you start to mess around.

Next, how about you listen to it. I find the tune catchy with an aftertaste of haunting. Click here to listen.

Point number one that I would like to make about this is, why did my father feel that this was an appropriate choice for a lullaby song to sing to his sweet, angel-eyed, squishy, baby daughter at bedtime? Anything with the phrase "late at night while you're sleeping" coupled with anything "comin' a creepin'" might possibly be detrimental to a childs sleeping habits. Dad? Are you out there? You better not sing this to your grandchildren. I will (of course) make a list of qualifying songs, none of which will have the word "creepin'" in them.

Point number two that I would like to make is this - today when I was contemplating my childhood and remembered the fact that my dad would sing this song to me at bedtime, I became curious of who sang the song and when it was made. Naturally, I went to wikipedia - that great, omniscient being on the internets.

This is what wikipedia told me about this little ditty:
"Poison Ivy" is a popular song by American songwriting duo Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. It was originally recorded by The Coasters in 1959. It went to #1 on the R&B chart and #7 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. This was their third top-ten hit of that year following "Charlie Brown" and "Along Came Jones". Blah blah blah.
Ok, here's where it starts getting weird:
The song discusses a girl named Ivy, calling her "Poison Ivy" because of her reputation with men as a player. ("Huh? What's that mean, daddy?" That's the two year old me questioning my father about what a 'reputation' is.) The song makes references to other flowers such as a rose and a daisy, and diseases like measles, mumps, chickenpox, the common cold, and whooping cough. In a recently published biography about Jerry Lieber & Mike Stoller, the song's authors, it was revealed that the song's lyrics are about sexually-transmitted disease, not the illnesses previously thought.

Um, excuse, Ricky Baker? Father? Future grandfather to my unborn children? Did you know about this? Were you aware of this literal meaning when you were singing your sweet, angel-eyed, squishy, baby daughter to sleep? I certainly hope not. Otherwise, we have a lot to talk about.

Coming tomorrow: Part Two of "Father to Daughter: I will sing you to sleep, child, with inappropriate lullabies". We'll disect the fact that the other bedtime song PeyPey's dad would sing to her was "House of the Rising Sun", which, in turn, is about a brothel. So, yeah. Chew on that.

Knock, knock! Who's There? IT'S PEYPEY!!!

It's happened again. The last time it happened it was bad. Pitiful. Excrutiating. Unpleasant. And it's happened again. Only this time, it's worse. Only this time, I'm having to search way deep into the inner crevices of my soul to find a cure. Only this time, it's not just singular; no, it's coupled with something much, much worse.

This time, it's not just blog block, it's laziness too.

I read a blog post about how to write blog posts not long ago and the number one thing on the list was to not apologize for not writing for awhile. The number two thing on the list was to post frequently and by frequently the author meant at least once a day. (Well, ha! I showed them, huh?!)

But I'm not going to listen to that author's advice. I'm here to tell you I'm sorry for not posting in over a month. Several of you readers (ok, let me just be realistic and tell you that "several" should actually say "2, two, TWO" - which, by it's very definition, cannot not be described as "several" but I'm going to say "several" anyway because that makes me feel missed, loved and needed) have emailed, texted, and facebooked to tell me that I needed to blog and that you missed reading what I had to say. Thank you readers. Thank you for missing me. You have no idea how good this makes me feel. Warm fuzzies? I gots dem.

While my blog block and laziness is not exactly cured, I will write today. I will write and tell you what I've been up to.

Let's begin with a list. Lists are the heartbeat of PeyPey's soul.
1. Um, hello, blog redesign! What do you think? Here's what I like: I love the colors and the rays coming off the side of the column. I am a sun. I shine. I beam. I wanted this to reflect on my blog so that's why I chose this background. To me, it's pretty PeyPeyish. There's lots of new features, so just clickity click clack around. (You've probably already done that, though, huh? Seeing as how it's been a month and all since the redesign.)
2. I am the Asst. Editor for the Junior League's League Life, a monthly 30-40 page publication that goes out to all of our 700+ members. What's time consuming? This is. So, needless to say, much of my very, very limited brain space that's not already being taken up by song lyrics to Rogers and Hammerstein musicals has been largely devoted to layout design and article writing for the League Life. (I'm saving the remaining space for remembering the things I am scared of. Sharks in the deep end of a pool, for example. In grown toenails, for another example.)
3. Mark just moved approximately 91.5 miles away from me to attend law school. I don't know if this is really a good excuse but I'm throwing it in there anyway.
4. Work. Life. Responsibilities. What? I'm only lazy 82.936% of the time. I do actually have a job, ya know? And bills to pay, okay? I can't just be at your blogging beck and call all the time, geesh. (Oh wait, isn't this supposed to be an apologetic post?)

Okay, that covers pretty much everything, right? So can I just beg your forgiveness and promise to do better? Things'll get back to normal around here pretty soon, I promise. I'll be back to my PeyPey ways soon enough, you bet your bottom dollar!