Kryptonite. As in Superman's ultimate physical weakness. By the way, did you know that there are 18 different types of Superman Kryponite? Yeah. Me neither. There's also Krypto the Superdog cartoon that "features 'purple-spotted kryptonite', which causes Superdog to compulsively chase his tail." Thank you, Wikipedia.
Don't know about you, but I'm encouraged to know that Superman (and Superdog, I guess) had 18 different Kryptonites to deal with.
A friend on Facebook posted a picture of what I like to call Corn Flake Peanut Butter Balls I Could Eat One Million Of You, You Little Balls Of Heaven And Goodness, And Then I Will Eat One Million More And When I'm Done With That Million, I'll Polish Off 8,000 More. The abbreviated version of this is known as PeyPey's Kryptonite #1. Superman had 18? I have 1,800. Maybe more. Definitely more.
So, since I've been absent for way too long from this here blog, I thought I'd do what I do best and give you a list. A list of Kryptonites, my ultimate physical weaknesses. Ok, let's do this.
1. Corn Flake Peanut Butter Balls I Could Eat One Million Of You, You Little Balls Of Heaven And Goodness, And Then I Will Eat One Million More And When I'm Done With That Million, I'll Polish Off 8,000 More
2. Sauvignon Blanc (obvs.)
3. Plain glazed donuts
4. Booty music (if it's playing, I'm dancing. Weakness? Eh, maybe not. I haven't quite figured this one out, but I feel right about it being on this list.)
5. Pinot Grigio (obvs.)
6. Chubby baby cheeks (It's almost a compulsion. Once I start kissing chubby cheeks, I can't stop.)
7. Creamy pasta sauce (I would drink it with a straw if that was socially acceptable.)
8. Real Housewives of anywhere (I've done some polling, spoken to some women about this. It's kind of a phenomenon. I am not alone in this weakness. Whether or not you have seen an episode of RHO, you WILL watch it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Laundry gets ignored. Cleaning doesn't happen. Spending time with the hubs gets pushed aside all so I can hear Kim sing "Don't be tardy for the party" One. More. Time.)
8. Cabernet Sauvignon (obvs.)
10. Target popcorn (Is no one else plagued by the delicious smell every time they walk into Target?) (I think it should be
11. Pinot Noir (obvs.)
12. Our couch (It has magnetic force, I swear.)
That's all you get right now. You'll have to come back in 6 months when I decide to put down the wine glass, stop watching RHO on the couch while facebook stalking you, dreaming of my neice's chubby cheeks with a pitcher of creamy pasta sauce with a straw in it, smelling the corn flake crack I just made while Mark goes to get me some Krispy Kreme's, all while...booty dancing?? (Still not sure where that one fits on the list.)