Beat the Heat

It's hot here. It is so dang hot. Perhaps you're a PeyPey reader who resides in a more balmy climate, such as Portland Maine, where it's a cool 74 degrees outside and where the wind is blowing in from the north at 13 mph (it is, I googled it), and do not dread walking outside. However, I'm not an idiot and I realize that the good majority of you (ok, all of you) are residing right here in this fiery furnace called Georgia.

So I have done what comes as second nature to me and compiled a list of things I enjoy doing when it's a hot, wet, 100+ degrees outside.

1. First things first, I'll make no apologies about this one: Please someone put a frozen margarita in my hand. Once I've got the cold, frosty glass resting safely in my palm and the straw - the vehicle which brings that icy smooth concoction - on my tongue, I begin to settle down a bit.
2. Give me a float, I'm going swimming. With my margarita in my hand, I slip down into that cool water with my sunglasses on and am instantly refreshed. Unless of course, the pool is never in the shade and therefore it feels just like bath water and oh my gosh, gross who wants to take a bath outside in a bathing suit when it's scorching hot outside and there's no fun bubbles and you start sweating and getting hot while you're in the pool when your one ambition was to get in there and cool off. No one wants that!
3. Only eat cold foods for one of your meals. Try it! Maybe sushi. Maybe a bowl of fruit. Maybe gazpacho. Or perhaps an entire carton of ice cream. Mmmm, or margaritas with chips and salsa. Speaking of...
4. Someone refill my frozen margarita glass please!
5. Men, disregard this one, unless you actually take the time to smooth on lotion. Which, maybe you should. I mean, I like a rough, tough man just like the rest of 'em, but some lotion on your crusty feet or elbows might do you some good. So go ahead and put your lotion or, ladies, other beauty products in the fridge. You have no idea how good this feels until you've tried it. It's so stinking refreshing.
6. Fans, fans, fans.

That's about all I can think of right now. Wish I had a margarita. And a pool. And some ice cream. Oh well, at least it's air conditioned in here.