Today's Top Ten

On my mind today? Breathing.

I was walking back from lunch and took a deep breath. Cold air filled my lungs. It felt goooooood! Good like a really deep stretch. Good like a freezing cold beer on a warm summer night. Good like a make-you-get-a-side-stitch laugh with friends. Good like...well, you get the idea. Here's the thing though - it was the first time today that I took notice of my breathing. And no, I don't take notice of it everyday; I mean, who does? It just happens, without any effort; why pay attention to it?

But it felt so good and I was caught off gaurd by the gratitude I felt by being able to perform such a mundane activity that I was stricken with the thought, "Hey Peyton, what other normal, everyday activities, people or things do you take for granted and should express your gratitude for right now?"

This question is one of those we all ask ourselves every once in awhile, right? Perhaps after we've lost something or someone that we've been taking for granted. Perhaps at Thanksgiving, that one day per year we are expected to be selfless and be grateful for all the wonderful people and things in our lives (even your Aunt Marge, sitting at the end of the table, looking all smug and taking more than her fair share of the mashed potatoes and gravy.). Or perhaps on a day like today, a day like every other day, when something, someone catches us off gaurd and fills us with sentiment.

So, naturally, I've compiled a list of my answers to that question for today (in no particular order. I say this so that you Christians out there will not judge that a cup of coffee comes before Jesus on this list.):

1. The ability to see, hear, taste (although my waistline is not grateful for this one), touch, smell...and breathe.
2. The people in this life who love me despite my inane mistakes and accidents, my inability to think of anyone but myself, and who have the willingness to help me dislodge my foot from my mouth when I've said something I shouldn't have.
3. Money in the bank. Although it's not a lot, it affords me the ability to pay my bills and enjoy superfluous activities.
4. Cheap. Ass. Rent. For real, for the amount of rent I pay, I should be living south of the traintracks. Like, WAY south.
5. My wheels. Sure, the front bumper's hanging off, the use of packing tape has been smartly employed to hold the right side mirror on, and it smells faintly of feet, but it gets me from point A to point B.
6. My education. All 21 years of it. And no, I don't have Ph.D. I just had some college professors who actually took attendance.
7. Optimism. I am definitely more like a glass overflowing type of gal. While this trait may render me a bit naive, it keeps a permasmile on my face; and I would prefer to grow old displaying laugh lines, not frown lines.
8. A really delicious, quenching cup of coffee on a cold morning. Warms me up quite cozily.
9. All of the experiences - heartwrenching, belly-laugh inducing, wake-up-you-idiot-this-is-life, experiences - in this life that have shaped me into the PeyPey I am today.
10. Sweet Jesus and his sacrifice. 'Nuff said.

That's my list for today. What's yours? What are you thankful for today that you took for granted yesterday and probably will tomorrow too? Just wondering.

A Botox-Free Facelift

A new year, a new blog. (Wasn't "A New Year, A New You" the Jenny Craig slogan a few years ago, pre the Kirstie/Valerie feud?)

I kinda felt like it was time to make a few changes. More specifically, my blog needed to graduate from middle school. The pink, bubbly font with the cute stripey things just weren't doing it for me anymore. I needed something more grown-up.

So making its 2010 debut...introducing PeyPeyChronicles-Grown-Up-Point-Oh! (You know, like AOL, version 4.0? I felt like that one needed some extra explanation. Sometimes the things that come out of my brain are not easily understood by others.)

I like it. Do you?

He will get a cheeseburger

So it's been a year and 3 days since my first blog entry on December 8, 2008. And that one wasn't really my own creativity, it was one of those snarky lists that you're supposed to repost with your answers on it and then forward it to 800 of your closest friends or else Jesus will condemn you and you won't have any luck for 17 years.

Needless to say, I feel like over the past year, I've come a long way and really shaped my writing voice into what I think will make my readers laugh (and me; because I'm pretty narcissistic and laugh, rather heartily, at my own jokes).

Speaking of readers, I really was under the impression that the only people who read my blog were the seven listed followers. But not so! I'm proud to report that I get comments via text, facebook, face to face, phone, etc. from people who say, "I just read your blog! It's hilarious!" And these people are random, I mean random people! Like Mark's boss and his wife, an old coworker of mine, one of my current coworker's wives. (That doesn't sound right. He doesn't have multiple wives. Crap. You get what I'm trying to say, though, right?) But the list goes on! It's beginning to give me (okay, that's really bothering me. Should it read, 'one of my coworker's wife'? That just doesn't sound right. Geez. Maybe I need to go back to English 101.) ANYWAY! All this praise is starting to give me a big head. It's like, 'how can I shape this story or this situation into being a good blog post that will impress my readers?' I'm serious, every person I come in contact with now is a potential character in The PeyPey Chronicles. (So watch out, you may be next!)

So I've written about my diet escapades, my really crazy family (which, trust me, I've only touched on the tip of the iceberg with that one, so stay tuned), my insane job (which I will probably end up getting fired from because of these blog posts). I have noticed, though, that recently I have been writing a lot about the people I come in contact with (strangers, thank GOD!), who, quite honestly, I do believe are not of this world and who have not one single ounce of commen sense. I seem to be a crazy people magnet. I will continue recounting these hilarious run-ins (and yes, sometimes with sarcastic embellishments) for you, as I know you will enjoy reading them.

And speaking of crazy...

Today's top headline from my hometown newspaper:

Condemned 'Stocking Strangler' Carlton Gary declines special last meal, will get a cheeseburger

Gonna be honest, in terms of a last meal, a cheeseburger wouldn't be a bad way to go. What would your last meal choice be?

All the best,
PeyPey

Gladys Kravitz: PeyPey Style

I don't exactly live in the best neighborhood in town. I blame this fact on the reason I've become somewhat of a Gladys Kravitz. Because, let's face it, watching BMW's and minivans and moms with strollers walking up the street doesn't exacly catch anyone's attention. (The 30 bags of garbage sitting on my neighbors lawn? Yes. What could possibly be in all those bags?)

So as I'm sitting here in my Sudafed induced coma, (or is it a morning talk show induced coma? I'm not quite sure. My deciphering skills went out the window along with good health, I think) I hear a bit of beat-boxing just as an all white, Fubu tracksuit clad black guy caught my eye, walking down our street, flailing his arms to the beat he was creating with his mouth.

So, naturally I stare. I pull down a little sliver in the blinds. He is totally in his own little world. (My mind immediately turns to the thought, 'Ahh, now I see exactly where my hard earned tax dollars are going: straight to your designer-track-suit-wearing-doesn't-have-a-job-collecting-welfare-check-and-fathering-multiple-children-so-you-can-just-collect-MORE-welfare-checks ASS.) I stare some more. Then suddenly, our eyes meet. (I thought I was being so discreet!) All flailing and beat boxing stops. A serious look clouds his eyes. I immediately let the blinds go and they snap back into place. I go to another corner of the house and inch the blinds down a tad. Ok. Whew! Coast clear. He's walking up the hill again. For a few seconds, no flailing, just seriously walking. Then, at the top of the hill, the arms start to flail again and I can hear the faint sounds of "boom boom snick boom boom snick boom". Back to normal.

I must perfect my Gladys Kravitz ways. (And possibly take Mark up on the offer to buy me that pink marble handled pistol.)

If Only I Were THIS Cool...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYO9zXC9d4M&feature=related

Nathan "Flutebox" Lee, ladies and gentlemen. Oh the things this man can do with his tongue. :)

If you really like beatboxing, watch the whole thing (it's 18 minutes though):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3kyNGVK-hI

The Beginning..

"She is the kind of girl, although exceedingly unsuspecting, you might find wearing "Aphrodites Pink Nightie", "Flashbulb Fuschia", or perhaps "Happy Hour" nail color on her dreadfully unkempt nails."




...of the novel I know I was born to write.

Thoughts...

1. I've stuck my foot in my mouth a lot lately.
2. I have no motivation, right now, at 4:00 p.m. to do ANYTHING but take a nap.
3. I think I'm developing tennis elbow.
4. I think I would make a good real estate agent.
5. I miss the Athens Bakers.
6. I would really, really like Mark to propose to me sometime this year.

PeyPey's Babysitter's Club

This is a very random post.

A lawyer and good buddy of mine called me today asking me to babysit pretty much all day tomorrow (on a Saturday). I told him 'Archie, I'm really sorry for saying no, but now that I've sold my soul to Mr. Jeff Brown 5 days a week, it's hard to let go of those 2 precious CCS-free days.' I told him to have no fear, though, because I have an army of ready and willing babysitters.

Here's the ad I gave him:

Catherine Merrit: This lovely brunette is a nursing student at CSU. She has 9 brothers and sisters and enjoys hiking and being outdoors.

Joanna Osterman: This blonde bombshell has 5 brothers! That gal's one tough cookie!

Carey Bray: Sweet, shy Carey moonlights in the Wynnton Preschool from time to time. She is an avid Methodist and has done study abroad in France! Parlez vous Francais!

Kayla Findley: No introductions need to be made here! Kayla enjoys the hectic life of a CCS file clerk and runner. She is practicing her servant leadership skills at CSU and plans to spend her summer in Mexico! Ole!

Meghan Doll: A doll she is! The daughter of a well known automobile mogul in Columbus, she spends her time diligently making strides for the Republican party. She has several siblings, of which she is the oldest.

Molly Baker: Sister of the lovely and amazing Peyton Baker, this 14 year old is mature beyond her years! She frequently babysits for the well known Amos', is a member of Wynnton UMC, and eventually wants to either dance her way to stardom or become president of the United States! She's a go getter, that one!

Theresa Garcia: The oldest of 8 children and daughter of well-known dentist, she has proved her amazing leadership skills. She is a photograph journalism student at CSU and was Annie in the Springer's Father of the Bride.

(I hope you read that like the announcer on the Kennon and Parker Home Show. That was the effect I was going for.)

Anyway, I don't know why I felt compelled to post this. Probably because in the midst of a very hectic day at work, at 11 in the morning, my creative juices are flowing and I'm pretty proud of that. I am so thankful that God decided to instill in me creativity. It's so much fun. So much better than just saying a girls name and giving him her phone number. Maybe it brightened his day a little too. I hope so.

So what if I really did start a babysitters club? I know all of you read at least one of those books. Might be fun. Ha. We could have a treehouse too. Haha. Oh. Ok, back to work.

She's a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus, and America too

John Mayer, please come sing me to bed every night. I wouldn't ask for anything more. I feel like Ursela in The Little Mermaid wanting Ariel's voice. Seriously, how can someone's voice sound so marvelously velvety? Thank you Tom Petty and Jeff Lynne for writing this song (on the album, "Full Moon Fever", released in 1989). Tom, your version sounded good...but John sounds AH-MAZING (on the album, "Where the Light Is", released in 2008). I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I do. I've listened to it over and over and over today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNW8q-Ucz18&feature=related

Oh, but wait, here's another one. This is a duet with Sarah McLachlan. Yep, his guitar playing is just a velvety smooth as his singing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wfGG-59Lq0&feature=related

Hold your horses, he's also got a sense of humor. Ladies, he's the full package.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H-bJs-Ib-s&feature=related