A few t-shirt ideas

"Jello shots. If you make them, I will take them."

"I have a hunch that there is no such thing as too much rum punch."

My main market would be Panama City Beach spring breakers.

I'm doing this.

Kryptonite

No, not that stupid 3 Doors Down song.

Kryptonite. As in Superman's ultimate physical weakness. By the way, did you know that there are 18 different types of Superman Kryponite? Yeah. Me neither. There's also Krypto the Superdog cartoon that "features 'purple-spotted kryptonite', which causes Superdog to compulsively chase his tail." Thank you, Wikipedia.

Don't know about you, but I'm encouraged to know that Superman (and Superdog, I guess) had 18 different Kryptonites to deal with.

A friend on Facebook posted a picture of what I like to call Corn Flake Peanut Butter Balls I Could Eat One Million Of You, You Little Balls Of Heaven And Goodness, And Then I Will Eat One Million More And When I'm Done With That Million, I'll Polish Off 8,000 More. The abbreviated version of this is known as PeyPey's Kryptonite #1. Superman had 18? I have 1,800. Maybe more. Definitely more.

So, since I've been absent for way too long from this here blog, I thought I'd do what I do best and give you a list. A list of Kryptonites, my ultimate physical weaknesses. Ok, let's do this.

1. Corn Flake Peanut Butter Balls I Could Eat One Million Of You, You Little Balls Of Heaven And Goodness, And Then I Will Eat One Million More And When I'm Done With That Million, I'll Polish Off 8,000 More
2. Sauvignon Blanc (obvs.)
3. Plain glazed donuts
4. Booty music (if it's playing, I'm dancing. Weakness? Eh, maybe not. I haven't quite figured this one out, but I feel right about it being on this list.)
5. Pinot Grigio (obvs.)
6. Chubby baby cheeks (It's almost a compulsion. Once I start kissing chubby cheeks, I can't stop.)
7. Creamy pasta sauce (I would drink it with a straw if that was socially acceptable.)
8. Real Housewives of anywhere (I've done some polling, spoken to some women about this. It's kind of a phenomenon. I am not alone in this weakness. Whether or not you have seen an episode of RHO, you WILL watch it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Laundry gets ignored. Cleaning doesn't happen. Spending time with the hubs gets pushed aside all so I can hear Kim sing "Don't be tardy for the party" One. More. Time.)
8. Cabernet Sauvignon (obvs.)
9. Facebook
10. Target popcorn (Is no one else plagued by the delicious smell every time they walk into Target?) (I think it should be mentioned confessed that I go to Target at least four times a week.)
11. Pinot Noir (obvs.)
12. Our couch (It has magnetic force, I swear.)

That's all you get right now. You'll have to come back in 6 months when I decide to put down the wine glass, stop watching RHO on the couch while facebook stalking you, dreaming of my neice's chubby cheeks with a pitcher of creamy pasta sauce with a straw in it, smelling the corn flake crack I just made while Mark goes to get me some Krispy Kreme's, all while...booty dancing?? (Still not sure where that one fits on the list.)

I can't put a title on this one because then you might not even read the post.

For those of you who don't know, I moved across the "border" as we like to call it here in the Deep South - the border being the Chattahoochee River, from Georgia to Alabama. Us Georgians have relentlessly made fun of Alabamians for quite some time. We've always kidded around saying "Oh, you got your passport ready?" to someone who says they're going over to Alabama for something.

See, my hometown is on the western border of Georgia, with the Chattahoochee River dividing my home state from good ole' Alabama. People who live in my hometown may go to work across the river and vice versa. But somehow, us Georgians have always thought of ourselves as a little higher and mightier than our neighbors in Alabama. We joke, right along with the rest of the nation, among other things, that married people's family trees in Alabama are pretty closely related, if you know what I mean.

And funny that I should mention this because Mark and I, who are getting married in t-minus 36 days, are related. Woah. Whammie. Yep. Both his and my ancestors made their homes in the great state of Alabama, so I guess there's some truth to the teasing. The relation is over four generations from us, but still. I won't lie and tell you that this fact does not bother me, because I've had nightmares of the possibility of having water head babies. Nonetheless, we're plugging right along with wedding plans.

But this is not the main topic of this post. I'll go ahead and tell you what is so that you may prepare yourself. Douche. Douche is the topic of this post. (But not in the way you may be thinking. Good lord, not in that way.)

Another thing we Georgians like to harp on about Alabama residents is their driving skills. Or rather, their lack of driving skills. My road rage has gotten a little Out. Of. Control. since moving across the border. I have no shame in making fun of Alabamians driving skills because THEY SUCK. I'm not sure what sort of driving test they have to pass, but it is certainly not up to par with the one I agonized over when I was sixteen. To put this all into perspective, the last time Mark had to renew his driver's license, it was at the Alabama Department of Motor Vehicles IN A MOTHER EFFING DOUBLE WIDE TRAILOR. No joke. So now that you have some perspective, let's move on to our main topic.

I'm not much of a cuss-er. I'll drop an eff bomb every once in awhile for dramatic flair, and I'll employ the use of a holy sh*t or two when I stub my toe, but I've never been one to use four letter words to attack an actual human being. Because of this, I've had to resort, in my validated times of road rage driving into Alabama everyday, to some other type of verbal vindication to assault these idiot drivers who can't hear me. For me? That verbal vindication is the use of the word douche.

There are so many amazing ways to use that word; so many perfect nouns one can use to follow that word. A few of them are (and this list is certainly not exhaustive, so please feel free to leave a comment with your favorite douchetastic noun):
-Bag (Duh.)
-Bucket
-Dropping (I'm afraid I may have lost some of you on that one. Hello? Still here?)
-Cake
-Bunny (This one I'm not sure about. It just slips out of my mouth sometimes and I have no control over it. Please don't judge.)
-Nugget
-Tard (I may be going to hell for that one.)
I mean, I can go on and on.

Today's selection was Douche Cookie. And really, it's just kind of whatever flows out of my mouth in my time of need. So if you're ever driving through Alabama and an idiot driver does something douche-y, just know that I've probably already let him know just how much of a Douche River he is.

Did I lose ya'll? I hope not. I've always promised full disclosure, so that's what you get and I make no apologies.  

Roasted Potato & Onion Soup

It's soup weather here in the deep South. Friends, that doesn't happen very often. I took full advantage of that tonight and whipped up some potato soup. Regretfully, I didn't take any pictures because my camera was all the way out in my car, 20 long feet away. Yeah, I'm lazy. But just try to picture it in your mind. I mean, you know what potatoes look like, don't you? Good. Then picture potatoes.

Cut about 5 medium sized potatoes in half lengthwise. Then cut them again lengthwise so that each long strip looks like a triangle. Ok, I really should've taken pictures. Did that make any sense? Basically, just cut the potatoes to create wedges. Not thick wedges, just normal sized wedges. No! Not wedgies! WEDGES! Come on!

Once you've got the wedgies all cut up, spread them out on a baking sheet or roasting pan that's been thoroughly sprayed with Pam or olive oil.

Next, cut an onion in half and cut one half into wedges. Or wedgies. Whichever you prefer. (Also, go ahead and dice the other half of the onion.) Toss the onion wedges on the baking sheet along with the potatoes. Spray all of the wedgies generously with more Pam or olive oil. I used my Misto but Pam works fine too. Sprinkle some salt, pepper, and garlic powder on top and stick them in a 450 degree oven for about 35-45 minutes.

Now go watch an episode of the Office, or wash your panties, or eat icecream, or replace your air filters, or drop the kids off at the pool (good lord, who am i? SHAMELESS, that's who.) About 30 minutes into baking the wedgies, saute the diced onion in a tablespoon or two of butter (I use Smart Balane Olive Oil) and sweat the onions for a few minutes. Add in a tablespoon of minced garlic, but make sure your heat isn't too high (needs to be medium) because you don't want your garlic to burn. Hot. Mess.

It's probably time to pick your wedgie...........s up out of the oven. Just let them cool for a sec.

Here's where you can get creative. I added some mini turkey pepperoni to my sauteed onions and garlic, but I bet bacon would be better. Or pancetta. Mmmmm. But all I had was half a bag of mini turkey pepperoni that I bought because it was so gyot dang cute. So I threw it in. And know what? It was delicious. But if you have bacon, you should use bacon.

Throw in another spoonful of butter and a handful of flour to the sauteed pan of goodness. The flour will help thicken the soup and will marry all that goodness that's in the pan together. You could also use a packet of ranch dressing mix that I bet would be slammin', but I ain't had none of that, so I just used flour. Let that keep sauteeing on medium-low heat.

Now spoon about 3/4 of your pan of wedgies into a food processor. Blend until smooth.

While your wedgies are pureeing, add a can of cream of mushroom soup into the pan with your sauteed junk. Add a little bit of milk.

Your wedgies should be smooth by now. Add the smooth wedgies to the pan and whisk together with the milk and cream of mushroom soup. Add more milk as needed.

Now take the reserved amount of roasted wedgies and add to the soup to make it a little chunky. Taste it to see if it needs some salt. It shouldn't need much since you put salt on the roasted wedgies. I added a little hot sauce too but that's only because I like things spicy. Just ask Mark. I bet a dollop of sour cream or some chives would be awesome. But I ain't had none of that so I added some cheese. It was slammin'.

Make this when your insides are cold. Make this when it's dreary outside. Make this if you have a wedgie. You'll be able to identify. Just make it, okay? I'm going to get another bowl...

The Proposal (Only with less Ryan Reynolds and more PeyPey)

The day was Sunday, November 28. The week of Thanksgiving had passed by in a blur of cornbread dressing and pecan pie. No really, I'm pretty sure I ate 18 pounds of dressing. Dressing or stuffing? My mom's always done dressing. That's the stuff with the wet cornbread and celery and magic in it. Delicious, delicious magic. Ahem. Where was I? The Sunday after Thanksgiving when Mark had to head back to school out of town had rolled around. Mark and I had had good times together with family and friends during the week but the reality of him leaving town had set in and I was kind of sad. I couldn't help letting my mind go to the location where it entertains the fantasies of being Mark's wife and spending the holidays as a family, not just as boyfriend and girlfriend.

That Sunday, my friends, will not only be the Sunday when those fantasies became tangible, but it will also be The Sunday Mark Saw My Dad In His Whitey-Tighties.

Mark woke up that morning knowing that he would soon ask me to be his wife, but he had a mission to complete first. That mission? To ask my dad, Ricky, for permission to marry me. Early that Sunday, Mark headed over to my parents house, hoping to find Ricky and find the permission he sought.

He arrived at their house to find my mom and brother and sister already gone to church. Knowing that my dad prefers to individually, instead of collectively and with a congregation, worship God, Mark knocked on the door expecting a quick answer. A few minutes later, after no answer, Mark went down the mental checklist of other things (well, honestly the ONLY other thing) my dad worships (coffee) and headed to the Waffle House. After doing a quick walk-around and finding no Ricky, Mark thought, "well, maybe he's an IHOP man." Um, no. I don't think my dad even knows that IHOP's exist. He's committed. He's committed to the Awful Waffle.

No Rickey at IHOP.

Mark was getting desperate. He wanted to ask me that day but really wanted my dad's permission first. He decided his best bet was to head back to the house and wait for him there.

Back at my parents, Mark decided to knock on the door again, just in case. After several knocks, he finally hears a "Hello? Hello? Come on in." Mark turned the knob then heard, "Come on in, I'm in the den." Confident and happy, Mark headed towards the sound of my dad's voice.

He swung the door to the den open and saw a sight I'm sure he never imagined, in his whole life, that he would see. My dad was standing there in just his whitey-tighties, reaching for his jeans, saying, "Man, I'm glad you banged on the door because I fell asleep in the bathtub. Your knocks woke me up!"

Yeah, that really happened.

After that awkward encounter and with permission having been granted, Mark took me to Dowdell's Knob, a place in Pine Mountain, GA, where five years earlier, Mark had asked me to be his girlfriend. He got down on one knee, told me he could never imagine his life without me, and asked me to be his wife.

It was perfect. And awesome. And so sweet. And we're getting married this May!
-----------------------------------
For the second, pretty much unrelated portion of this post, you'll have to email me at

peypeybaker[at]gmail[dot]com.

Please sign the consent form stating that you will never sue me for slander, libel, or defamation of character.
-----------------------------------
You're pretty freaking intrigued now, aren't you?  

Gone Fishin'

I was contacted not long ago about doing an article for an online publication called Bloodknot Magazine. If you click on that link, it will take you to website about fishing - fly fishing to be exact. Now you're probably thinking, "Wait a minute. Fishing? But Peyton likes throwing dinner parties and drinking wine and eating donuts. Fishing?"

Yes, fishing.

A lot of my childhood was spent with a pole in my hand (and usually a bare hook at the end of my line). Fishing connected me with something my dad loved to do, and because he loved it, I loved it too. I wouldn't say I'm a great fisherwoman; but I love the practice of it, I love hooking one, I love eating them.

So although I'm certainly no master at fishing, I did have a story to tell about it. And you can find it in the Bitch Creek section of this online publication here.

Now I'm off to see if I can find a recipe for donut hushpuppies.

Physics makes us all its bitches [Alternate title: Where's a time machine when you need one?]

It has been a whirlwind 48 hours for me.

48 hours ago, I was psyching myself out for the Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows, Part 1 midnight premier. WHICH WAS AWESOME. This movie was exceptional, people. But that's not what this post is about.

After staying up until 3 a.m. on Thursday night, I got up at 7:30 a.m. the next morning to get ready to head up to Atlanta with the bff you all know and love, Jeannie.

30 hours ago, we were perusing the fashion delights in Anthropologie at Lenox, not yet aware of the romping merriment that awaited us that night.

24 hours ago, we were sharing a bottle of sauv blanc at Park Tavern. Jeannie uncharacteristically ordered a cheeseburger and fries and me, sushi. After dinner, wanting to be first in line when they opened the doors at Variety Playhouse for the concert we were going to, we hailed a cab with Walter Kirkland, best darn cab driver in the ATL.

Walter dropped us off at the Variety, where a line was already forming. We, of course, started acting silly. I have proof of it:

After admitting to fellow concert-goers that the last time we were at the Variety was two years ago to see Hanson, we were finally let inside.

Being some of the first people in line, we pretty much had the choice of any seat in the house to see, for the second time, The Punch Brothers, we chose to stand at the front of the house, elbows resting on stage, purses sitting on top of it. Best. "Seats". Ever.

Up first was Dappled Grays, a local Atlanta blue-grass band, who were the perfect intro to Punch Bros. They were like the edemame to your sushi dinner. The Wheel of Fortune to your Jeopardy. The first glass of wine to your eighth glass of wine.

But if you're going to eat edemame, you're going to want some sushi. And if you watch Wheel of Fortune, you'll probably stay tuned for Jeopardy up next. And if you have one glass of wine, you know you'll have an eighth glass. (Wait, just me on that last one?) So, much anticipated, The Punch Brothers presented themselves FIVE FEET FROM OUR FACES.

20 hours ago, Chris Thile spat on me. More than once. That was how close we were.

Here's some photos in which the zoom function on my camera was not used. Keep that in mind, ok?

Chris Thile, lead singer, mandolin player.

Gabe Witcher, fiddle. Chris Eldridge, guitar.Chris Thile.

Noam Pikelny, banjo.

Paul Kowert, bass.



Y'all. This show is phenomenal. These guys are so freaking talented. They have plenty of original music, but some of my favorite songs from last night were covers that they, in my opinion, perform better than the originals. Here's a few examples:

Heart in a Cage by The Strokes (original)

Heart in a Cage covered by the Punch Brothers

Here's a mash-up of a Radiohead song, "Kid A", and "Wayside", an old, traditional bluegrass song by Gillian Welch  (Please listen to all 10 minutes. Pretty please? It's truly wonderful.)

The encore song last night was a cover of Of Montreal's "Gronlandic Edit". Click here to listen to the original. (Pretty sure there was some reefer involved in the making of that music video, by the way.) Now click here to listen to Punch Bro's version.

Jeannie and I had the best time ever, staying to meet them after the show. This was, like I said, the second time we've seen them in concert. I've blogged about it before. This was also the second time we stuck around to meet them after the show. The first time, the only words that escaped my mouth as I passed down the line, they seated behind the table, casual, friendly; me standing, sweating bullets and trying to figure out what to say, were to the bass player, Paul Kowert. "You look like a Hanson brother." Epic fail, PeyPey.

This time, we got in the back of the line, trying to be sly, thinking "they'll talk to us more because we're the last in line!" We were the last in line, until, at the very last minute, two floosies walked up. Blond floosie to the other blond floosie (loudly): "But wait! I don't have anything for them to sign." Other blond floosie: "Um, hello! Your boob!" Yeah. So we really didn't get the face time with the guys we wanted.

The next part of this post is going to be very difficult for me to get through, so I'm writing the rest in third person. I'm hoping that by doing so, I can remove myself from the reality of what actually happened and will be able to consider that it actually was not our reality. So just keep reading and then offer your apologies to me and Jeannie when you get to the end, ok?

Chapter 1

Jeannie and PeyPey exited the theater onto the streets of Five Points and, not being so sure of their surroundings and having already been approached by a man wearing a Members Only jacket and carrying a briefcase, while almost simultaneously being pummelled over on the sidewalk by a drunk kid, they called on the safety of Walter's taxi services who had picked them up from the restaurant and taken them to the concert.

"Walter, this is Caitlyn and Samantha, we're in Five Points, can you come get us?" Okay, I'm taking a break to explain to you that I, after entering Walter's cab and being asked by him what our names were, immediately replied, "This is Samantha and I'm Caitlyn." Because, you know, I couldn't be normal or anything. Clarification, done. Back to the story. After securing a confirmation from Walter of a pick up, Jeannie and PeyPey discussed what to do next.

"What do you want to do, go out? Go chill at the hotel?" PeyPey asked Jeannie. "Ehh, we may as well go out since we're already, you know, out." Jeannie replied. "Okay, sounds good. Let's head over to Virginia Highlands and find somewhere to grab a drink."

Walter, the faithful cabbie, pulled up and in hopped Jeannie and PeyPey. "Virginia Highlands, please Walter. Alright, so you're sure you want to go out?" PeyPey asked Jeannie. "Yeah, I think so. Or we could always go get a drink at the hotel bar," replied Jeannie. "It is totally up to you. I'm down for whatever!" said PeyPey. "Let's just check out Virgnia Highlands. I mean, we're already out, you know?" Jeannie said.

After Walter dropped the girls off in Virginia Highlands, they walked down the row of bars, smokey and music filled. They enter the first bar, The Dark Horse, and were met by a familiar college party scene. They left after only a few minutes, deciding they had graduated from the scene of dumb drunk girls and eager boys. (Ok, maybe not, but they just weren't feeling it last night.) Their ears led them down the street to a New Orleans blues club, Blind Willie's, where there were some pretty sweet sounds coming from within. Drinks were ordered, small talk was made. But neither Jeannie or PeyPey were having the time of their lives, which they were desperate to have, having had such an awesome time at the concert. Now, don't get the wrong idea, they had fun - the beer was cold, and there was some good people watching; but it just wasn't meeting their expectations. So at about 1:15 a.m., they made the call to Walter to take them back to their hotel.

They ended the night lazily in their Atlanta Hilton hotel beds, drifting off to sleep with the hum of the tv in the background, dreaming sweet dreams of mandolins (and mandolin players).

Chapter 2

Back home from the trip, PeyPey was loading her pictures of the concert onto her computer when she got a text from Jeannie. "OMG. Have you read Chris Thiles tweets??? They were staying in our hotel and went to the bar after the show. I'm not kidding." The words of the text message didn't register in PeyPey's mind until she read it a second time. Wait, what? "Wait, ok, so they were staying at our hotel? They were in the bar last night? The bar that we talked about going to last night?" PeyPey thought to herself. She checked twitter to read Chris Thile's updates. christhile: "The Mai Tai Lounge at our Atlanta Hilton is suspiciously crowded, given the hotel's nearly 100% evangelical conventioneer occupancy." Laughing at his wit, PeyPey confirmed in her mind that it was, in fact, the same hotel that her and Jeannie were staying in because they had been met by some evangelical convention go-ers in the hotel elevator upon their arrival. Damn.

"Shut the f*** up. Shut. The. F***. Up." PeyPey called Jeannie. "Um, yeah. Can you believe this?" Jeannie said. "I'm just kind of speechless." PeyPey said. "Let me call you back. My sister's beeping in," Jeannie replied.

Left alone with her thoughts, PeyPey played back through the events of the night. "There's no way. There's just no way," she thought. Wishing for a time machine, the phone brought her thoughts back to the present. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Well, we can't blame ourselves. I mean, we had no idea that they were going to be staying at our hotel. We just cannot blame ourselves," PeyPey said. "I know. I wish drunk Jeannie would've made a different decision last night in the cab. I seriously can't believe this," Jeannie said. "We can't let this ruin the memory of the great time we had last night," said PeyPey. "Agreed. But it still sucks. Maybe it was God's protection. We would've both ended up doing things we would've regretted with some roofies." replied Jeannie. (Kidding.)

After hanging up, the mournful conversation between PeyPey and Jeannie continued, via text messaging:

PeyPey: "This is difficult news to process. I'm not really sure where to go from here."
Jeannie: "I know. I. KNOW."
(After about 25 minutes) Jeannie: "I'm still having a hard time with this. Just confessing."
PeyPey: "Yeah, me too. We gotta figure out how to move past this..."
(About an hour later) PeyPey: "Hey what's the name of the bar in Virginia Highlands we went to last night? I'm blogging about all of it."
Jeannie: "Blind Willie's. Or as I like to call it, Regret."

So yeah life, touche. Tou. Che. Whatever though, this guy spit on me last night and I haven't taken a shower yet:

All in all, we had a kick-ass time. And 48 hours after all that - Harry Potter, Jeannie eating a cheeseburger (whaaaa?), spending a combined hour and a half in a car with a guy named Walter who thought our names were Samantha and Caitlyn, being spit on by Chris Thile, and finding out we could have realistically (not just in our dreams) had a drink with the Punch Brothers last night - I'm pooped. Peace out y'all.

An update on my problem...

They have been washed. But somehow, they have multiplied. I'm taking bets on how long the clean cups/coffee mugs/water bottles will sit in this exact position. Oh, and I have no idea where this UGA "Hoop Girls" thermos came from, by the way. Could I have? Would I have? EVER BEEN A "HOOP GIRL"? No. I'm assuming this is some sort of basketball thing, although it could very well be a hula-hoop thing, who knows? All I know is, my 5 feet tall body will never ever be in any sort of league call the "Hoop Girls" and hula hoop? Yeah, I never quite mastered that one on the playground. (Also? Monkey bars. We never became friends.) So, if you're the "Hoop Girl" who left this on my desk, please come claim it!

We may have a problem on our hands

But do you think I did anything about this problem after I snapped this picture? Um, no. There underlies the problem, people.

What to do with those old apples you told yourself you were going to eat but never did...

Make some muffins. The alternate title of this post could have been "Saturday Morning Baking", but I thought I'd just be more honest with you. My refrigerator and fruit bowl are where produce go to die a slow, painful death. I have the best intentions, but somehow, three weeks pass by and I still haven't cooked that sweet potato. Or steamed that broccoli. Or I've eaten a donut instead of an apple. It happens. A lot.

But Saturday I woke up, walked into the kitchen, made some coffee...(and yes, this is how we live it up in Alabama. Livin' on the wild side, baby.)

and stared at the sad, bruised apples in my fruit bowl. I couldn't let them meet the same fate as the potato that was, well, growing another potato out of itself. (Go ahead and thank me that I don't have a picture to show you for that one. It was scary and weird.) So I diced up the apples to a small dice...

I measured out milled flax seed, whole wheat flour, and white flour, as well as salt, sugar, and baking powder and mixed all the dry ingredients together...

Then I mixed together one egg, milk, and oil and added that to the dry ingredients...

and mixed until just combined. Then you mix in your diced up apples (and nuts if you like that sort of thing.)

Then spray your muffin tins and fill them about 2/3 full. This recipe makes about 15 muffins.

Pop them in the oven for about 18-20 minutes. At around 12 minutes, I sprinkled some brown sugar on top for a little crunch. You don't want to add this too early because your sugar might burn. Also, please notice my polished fingernails.

Bake for a few more minutes and then let cool. These were healthy, delish and super easy. Try them soon!

Whole wheat flaxseed apple muffins:

3/4 cup milled flaxseed
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup white flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 cups diced apples (about 3 small apples)
3 Tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional) (that's what she said)

Blend dry ingredients together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, combine egg, vegetable oil and milk. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and stir until just blended. Fold in apples and nuts. Batter will be thick. Fill well-greased muffin cups 2/3 full. Bake at 400 degrees for 18-20 minutes or until top springs back when touched.

And look, I even have nutritional data!
1 muffin = 175 calories, 2 g dietary fiber, 23 g carbohydrates, 4 g protein, 9 g fat (less than 1 g saturated fat). These would make a great breakfast!

Comparing God & Oprah

I came across a few quotes from one, Oprah Winfrey today that I wanted to share. One of the topic suggestions I received was to choose and discuss quotes on my blog. I’m just going to say what I know you’re already thinking: I am not the most philosophical, deep thinker. I like wine. And donuts. And Will Farrell movies. And making fun of people. I'm not too opinionated and I’d prefer to have a conversation with you, not about the separation of church and state or Senate majority leaders, but about what color finger nail polish you’re wearing and if you know of any good shoe sales.

But like I said, I came across these quotes today and was struck by how quickly a similar bible verse came to mind with each quote. (You’d think the effects of several years of wine drinking with its remnants still floating through my short body woulda knocked some of these bible verses from memory, but thank goodness - they stuck around.)

Now, I’m not knocking Oprah. I think she does some pretty great stuff. I just want to point out that the general idea of what she’s saying in these quotes has already been said. These words were said a long, long time ago. They were inspired by God. In whom I believe. Have I mentioned that? Yeah, I believe in God. I don’t use this here blog as a platform to preach and never will, but I do want you to know that I believe in God. I want you to know me, and omitting what is at the very core of my being would be like ordering a jelly-filled donut without the jelly filling. You get my point, I hope.

Ahem. What was my point? (See, I got side-tracked by donuts. It happens a lot.) Oh yes, my point is, it’s so easy for someone to hear and listen to and understand and believe someone as powerful as Oprah say something profound like this and think that she’s come up with the answer to life, to all their problems. However, reading words written a thousand+ years ago and inspired by a being who made blind men see, who walked on water, who took five loaves of bread and a couple of fish and fed five freaking thousand people, has somehow become defunct, irrelevant, and in-congruent with our modern-day lives.

Oprah says:
"No matter where you stand right now - on a hilltop, in a gutter, at a crossroads, in a rut - you need to give yourself the best you have to offer in this moment."

God says (via the prophet, Jeremiah):
"This is what the LORD says:
'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and there you will find rest for your souls.' “ – Jeremiah 6:16

Oprah says:
"You can either waltz boldly onto the floor of life and live the way you know your spirit is nudging you to, or you can sit quietly by the wall and recede in the shadows of fear and self-doubt."

God says (via the disciple, Timothy):
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

I’ll let you be the judge: Who said it better?

Grilled Chicken and Fruit Salad

Lately, I've been trying cook more at home. Last week, I had delicious dinners of fresh veggie stir-fry, seared tuna steak with sauteed broccoli and baked sweet potato slices, a homemade pizza on whole wheat crust, and this salad. I'd say I've done pretty well!

This salad was so yummy, I didn't even put dressing on it!

First, grab a pack of boneless, skinless chicken tenders. Spray some Olive Oil Pam into a saute pan and throw in the tenders. You don't want to move them around a whole lot. Just let 'em sit there; they won't stick. To the top side, spray on a little more Pam and shake on some garlic salt and fresh cracked pepper. Let them sit for about 3-5 minutes before you flip them. After you flip them, shake on a little more garlic salt and pepper and let them cook for another 3-5 minutes on that side.

In the meantime, start your salad by putting some mixed greens (I like the mix with the arugula, spinach, romaine, and radicchio) in a bowl.

Next, dice up half of a purple onion and toss it on the greens.

Then, slice up about 5-6 strawberries and throw them on the greens.

Then, take a can of mandarin oranges and throw them in a colander and rinse them off pretty well. (If you wanted to take the time to peel a tangerine, then by all means, please show the rest of us up.) Throw them on the salad.

Toss on some slivered almonds.

Throw in some reduced fat, crumbled blue cheese.

And go ahead and sprinkle on some more cracked black pepper.

At this point, your chicken should be done, so just give the tenders a quick dice and throw them on top.

Toss it all together and give it a taste. If you think it needs some dressing, just drizzle on a bit of balsamic vinaigrette. I didn't put any dressing on mine, which made it all the more healthier! It was sooo good, people. It took about 15 minutes when all was said and done, start to finish. And I had about four good size servings from it. Try it when you need something fresh, healthy, and super quick!

Editing pictures in Picnik

If you have not discovered Picasa, the free photo editing software by Google, go discover it now. Go google it and download it for free. I'll wait.

This free editing software is the best thing since bras started coming with underwires. Seriously, it's awesome. Just in the very basic application, you can fix exposure problems, crop, straighten, get rid of red-eye, do some cool color changes. But I just upgraded my version of Picasa (for free!) and there's this new option called "Picnik" on the editing menu. Picnik allows you to do oh-so-many more edits. There are fun edits like this:

Or, you can do more normal edits like the ones I'm about to show you. I'll show you the original first, then the edited version. I snapped all of these pictures over the summer when Mark and I stopped by his grandad's garden one afternoon. I've got some favorite edits that I used on just about all of these pictures: Boost, 1960's, and Vignette.

Here we go!

Original:

Edited. I love the vintage-y look of this. It seems to make the fruit and leaves pop more. And I like the rounded corners, too.

Original:

Edited:

Original:

Edited:

Original:

Edited. This is by far my favorite one:

This one is kind of eerie to me. A late afternoon storm was rolling in and the clouds started getting pretty dark. Here's the original:

I did something kind of funky with the edited copies. This TOTALLY transformed the entire picture. There is seriously so much you can do in this program FOR FREE!

Another version. Kind of dusty. I acheived this by only filtering in one certain color:

These next few were so pretty on there own, they didn't need much. Here's the original:

And here, I 'boosted' it, and added the 'vignette' feature to shade the corners.

I love the angle of this picture. Original:

Here, I just clicked the "Auto Fix" button. This is a nice option for those of you who don't have time (to waste) to jazz up your pictures and want to get it all done in one click. I bet you're the type who likes shopping at Wal-Mart, too, aren't you? One stop shop kind of person? Now if only our lives came with "Auto Fix" options, huh? Auto Fix (subtle differences):

Boosted and vignetted:

What do ya'll think? Think you'll try it out? Should I start charging for photo shoots now??

Redecorating My Room...

And so continues our online window shopping. Today, we're browsing Pier 1 online!

I just moved. I have quite a bare pallet that I call my bedroom and bathroom. Pretty much all white. White down comforter in desperate need of a duvet, white sheets, white pillows, white towels...you get the picture. I need color in my life. I need it bad. In my online perusing today, I was being drawn to the combo of red and teal. Red has always been one of my favorite colors, but I've never paired it with teal before.

I've found some pretty great things that I would love for my new bedroom - most of which were on clearance! One thing you need to know about Pier 1 online though is that you can't make purchases online. You can check store availability and make an online shopping list that you can then print out and take to one of their locations.

Oh, and I so totally felt like I was on that show on HGTV "Design on a dime" because when I totalled everything up, my total was $995.75! Under $1000! Now, hang on, I'm not buying this stuff, I'm just getting an idea of what I'd like to decorate with. I'll use these as a guide when I'm out shopping for decor. I'll pick up an item here and there, or maybe even make some of the stuff myself, but please know that I don't have ten hund-o's to drop at this moment. Although there are a few things out of this group that I would like to eventually purchase.

Ok, moving on....

Stuff I already have:
1. Bed with dark wood headboard and footboard

2. Dark wood dresser

3. Dark wood trunk
4. Wicker nightstand

And then a ton of white stuff.

First up, furniture. I love this red ottoman. It's simple, it'll sit at the foot of my bed, it'll inevitably be a catch all for all my crap, but I think the color's great and so is the price. The color is Cinnabar and it's $199.95.



Next up, I love this wicker chair. I think it's modern enough to jazz up the room a bit, but is still cohesive enough with the rest of the furniture. It mimics the wicker in my nightstand, too. It's the Mombosa chair and it's $99.98.

I would toss this throw pillow on the wicker chair. It's the Peacock Circles Pillow and it's $23.96.

And maybe this one too. It's the Oblong Teal Print Pillow and it's $31.96.

Next up is bedding. I think I'll stick with my all white bedding, unless I find a cute, solid or textured duvet cover. For now, I want to just jazz it up with throw pillows. I like this one. It's the Embroidered Bird Pillow and it's $34.95. Gal darn, are throw pillows expensive or what?! Funny story about throw pillows...I once worked at a home decor store in my home town. I had neither the experience or the expertise to work at a home decorating store, but they liked me I guess, so I got the job. People. There was a whole WALL of throw pillows. I'm talking like thirty feet long and 20 feet high. It had little cubbie holes that we stuffed with pillows. Little old ladies would always, ALWAYS, choose the ones in the cubbies at the very tip top of the wall. I'd have to go get the ladder and yank out the pillow they wanted, only to have to put it back up again when they said, "Oh no honey, that's the wrong color." I finally got the bright idea on a slow day to color coordinate the pillow wall, putting the less desirable colors at the very top. I got employee of the month that month. Anyway...I like this one:

And is this one right here too crazy to throw behind the bird pillow? Maybe I could do the teal pillows behind the bird pillow on the bed and throw the Circle Button Pillow ($34.95) on the wicker chair and just eliminate the teal stripe pillow? Good grief, too much pillow talk going around here. Moving on.

Window and wall coverings. I'm not crazy about this aqua shade of Silk Panel ($55.96 each). I'd like it to be a little more tealish, but I think if I don't have it too close to other teal furnishings, it'll be okay. I could always try dying them???

I'm kind of in love with these wall hangings, although looking at it now, I'm not sure if the style quite fits and is cohesive with the rest of the room. Nevertheless, the colors are spot on and I love the dreamy nature of the prints. This is the Celestial Wall Art and the set is $129.99.

I would have this clocks babies. I love it. But do ya'll think it fits? It's a little rustic and western-y and that's not really the look I was going for. Your thoughts on this Salsa Clock that retails for $74.98, please?

These right here are placemats. But i'mma put 'em on my wall. That's right, ya heard? I think they're cute and you could easily glue or attach a picture hanger to the backs of them. They're light, they're wicker, they're whimsical and they're only $3.96 each. Ok, I just realized something. If we were going to play a game of "Which of these things is not like the other one?" with this stuff, I think it would have to be the dreamy, Celestial Wall Art. Everything else I've chosen seems to be more casual and rustic, while those are just pretty modern and ethereal. Oh well. I did love the colors in them, though. What do ya'll think?

Whenever I go shopping with my BFF, Jeannie, she'll pick up something that costs an arm and a leg and then I'll say, "We could so totally make that for like five bucks," and then we (I) never do. Well, Jeannie? "I could so totally make this." I have an old wooden four-pane window without the glass that Mark and I picked up out of someone's trash about 4 years ago. It has been with me through 3 moves and still just sits. Doing nothing. Being nothing. I'm spray painting that sucker teal and stringing wire, clothespins and pictures in it. It's new day just dawned. So booyah, Jeannie. This is what it'll look like only with the panes seperated. You could easily do this with any old picture frame! This one is from Pier 1 and'll run you $22.40.

I love lamp. Enough said. (Anchorman, anyone?) This red lamp is $19.98 and I'd probably get two!

I forgot to tell ya'll that I also have a white bookcase stacked to the brim with books. I think these planters would make pretty cute bookends! Potted Artificial Wheat Grass, $8. I need some potted artificial wheat grass in my life.

These are fun. And kitschy. And teal. And I like 'em. $24.88 and $29.88.

I love the wonky shape of this here thang. I'd probably stick some eucalyptus or some other kind fake filler in it, put it on the floor next to my door, and call it a day. Organic Chocolate Glass Vase $19.98.

I think this is super cute, and it mimicks the blue bird in my blue bird pillow. Cuteness to the max. This is $10.36

I like these. $5.98-$11.18.

And finally, I like this simple rug to center everything and pull the room together. Great price on this large rug: $79.98.

Well that completes the home furnishings portion of this post. I'd love to hear ya'lls opinions!